A Decade in Exile

On June 12th 2003 I was sent on my first overseas business trip to Oman, via the United Arab Emirates, and never really came back.  I consider myself to have emigrated on this date, even if the practical arrangements were sorted out back in the UK over 2 weeks in the following August.

Since then I have:

  • Visited 35 countries, 19 of them at somebody else’s expense.
  • Made 192 international border crossings.
  • Worked for 5 companies, been fired from 1.
  • Held a work permit in 4 countries, lived in 5.
  • Learned 2 languages (one to a basic level, the other to intermediate).
  • Got platinum membership with both a major airline and a major hotel chain.
  • Made some cash.

Sometimes it has been brilliant, sometimes it has been utter shite.  One must take the rough with the smooth.

Posted in Blogging, Travel | 6 Comments

Hunt Ongoing, No Heads Yet Found

On Wednesday I had an email from a rather excited manpower agent who wanted to talk to me about “a fantastic opportunity with a leading independent operator” in Africa.  I looked to be “a great fit for this position”.

Could it be?

I replied, asking for some details.

It was.

Good luck, chaps.

Posted in Recruitment | 6 Comments

Sochi Olympics a ‘Monstrous Scam’

According to the opposition politicians, anyway.  Me, I don’t believe it.  It just doesn’t seem credible.

A lack of fair competition and secrecy sharply increased the cost, benefitting only businessmen close to President Vladimir Putin, they say in a report.

Nonsense!  This sort of thing is entirely without precedent in Russia, which prides itself on transparency, open competition, and politicians who keep a healthy distance between themselves and commercial ventures.

A Russian official dismissed the claim.

See?  What more proof do you need?

He also questioned the wisdom of staging the games in a subtropical climate in the city on the Black Sea coast.

Not only are these opposition leaders attempting to tarnish the fine reputation of the IOC, they are killjoys to boot.

Meanwhile, International Olympic Committee (IOC) spokesman Mark Adams said it appeared that Russia was taking any corruption claims related to the Olympics seriously.

And if the word of a Russian official wasn’t enough, who can doubt the purity and sincerity of an IOC spokesman?

Mr Adams said Moscow was addressing the issue “pretty much head-on from the president down”, according to the Associated Press news agency.

Well there you have it.  If the president is involved, how can there possibly be a problem?

“The expenses for the Winter Olympics in Sochi turned out to be more than all expenses for all the sports structures at the previous 21 Winter Olympics put together,” the report says.

It says that “between $25bn and $30bn have been stolen”, and this has benefited “only oligarchs and companies close to Mr Putin”.

You say stolen, I say invested wisely.  This is purely semantics.

Nothing to see here, folks.

Posted in Russia | 5 Comments

How Not To Headhunt

A few months ago I received an email from a manpower agency representing an independent oil company that was looking to recruit an Engineering Manager to be located in a West African country.  The reason why I didn’t just hit *Delete* as I do with most of these emails is because, for once, the agent had named the company and provided a job description.  This is unusual in the extreme, most of these clowns email you with an exciting opportunity with a company they cannot name in a vague location with a job description “to follow”.  Uh-huh.  I’ve written about this before.

So I replied that I was interested, just for the hell of it, and the agent responded with an outline salary and benefits package, which looked pretty good.  So I became more interested.  I wasn’t exactly looking to move company, but I think it’s always wise to keep an eye on what’s out there, know what the market thinks of you, get in some interview practice (you never know when you might need it!), etc.  And if my current employer was only going to offer me a role in a filling station as my next assignment…well, you get the picture.

Firstly the agent interviewed me, just to make sure that I wasn’t a complete Herbert.  Then within a couple of weeks I had a phone interview with the HR bloke, who was about 25 years old and recently recruited from…a manpower agency.  This was a pretty standard HR interview, but near the end I queried the part of the salary package which made reference to a “hypothetical tax deduction”.  All oil companies do this for various reasons: deduct taxes from staff salaries in one place and actually pay taxes wherever they’re working.  This is fairly standard practice, but the tax rate is usually pretty low.  In this case, the HR chap told me I’d be taxed at the full UK rate.

Whilst working in West Africa on a residential basis.

I didn’t say anything at the time, but when a 50% or whatever tax is applied to the salary package it didn’t look anywhere near as attractive.  I called up the agent, told them I was no longer interested, and they said they’d “look into it”.

I was therefore quite surprised to be invited to another phone interview, this time with the Head of Engineering & Projects (who would be my functional line manager).  Having nothing to lose, I went ahead and did it anyway, and thoroughly enjoyed myself.  With no pressure to actually get the job I was myself (blunt and opinionated), and had a good discussion with the chap on the other end who clearly knew his stuff.  It was far more of a technical discussion than the previous one, outlining the role, who I am, my experience, my management style, etc.  And I came away thinking that the role was a lot larger and more interesting than anything I’ve yet had, and with a lot more responsibility.  Now I had no interest in doing another stint in Africa, but if the right position came up and they were throwing money at me…well, I can be persuaded.

It turned out I impressed them enough for me to be considered their front runner for the position (so the agent told me), and they arranged another phone interview (which would be the fourth, if you include the one with the agent).  This one was with the Regional Manager, and during the conversation much was made of the benefits of working for a smaller, more flexible company which exercised common sense, made quick decisions, delegated responsibility, and kept procedures to a minimum.  This was in contrast to a supermajor, which makes even the army look sensible and efficient.  I have to say, this prospect alone did appeal.  Needing line manager’s authorisation to hang a white board in your office, and waiting 9 months for expenses to clear a 6-stage approval process, does tend to piss you off after a while.  Like the previous interviewer, this chap was also pretty switched on and we had a good chat.  I didn’t change my approach – blunt and opinionated – mainly because I don’t know how to be any other way, but I came out of that round still as the favoured candidate.

It had occurred to me that we would need a face-to-face interview before they’d make me an offer, but I assumed this would take place in London or someother place sensible.  So my expectation was that they’d send me an offer subject to a final interview, and if I liked it I’d jump on a plane to see them, spend a few hours sizing each other up, and then make a decision one way or the other.

This turned out to be far too sensible.  Instead HR took the lead and said, through the agent, that I should go to this West African country to see the place and “meet the team”.  Now if this can be done easily, then fair enough.  If I was working in London, then no reason why I couldn’t jump on the plane to Aberdeen to meet a few folk and scope out the office.  But almost nobody goes to these sort of locations on a scoping visit, they just jump in and hope it’s okay when they get there.  I signed up for Sakhalin knowing nothing about it, and turned up in Nigeria for a 3-year assignment having never set foot in the place.  It’s just the way it is, standard practice in the oil business.  So I explained that I didn’t need to see the place, anything will be an improvement on Nigeria, and can we just get on with it please?  Time was running out, as I would need to start talking about my next assignment with my current employer, and I don’t like to fanny people about too much.

Then word came back that I needed to go to this country because the Country Manager, Production Manager, and Maintenance Manager (or something) all wanted to interview me.  So I looked at how I could get myself over to this country without my current employer knowing (they’d twig pretty quickly I wasn’t there on holiday).  After a bit of research, it turned out that I couldn’t.  It is not possible to bullshit about which flights you’re taking in and out of Nigeria, because we get taken to and met from every flight directly for (very sensible) security reasons.  And I didn’t even know how I’d get a visa for this place, and if the agent or the company HR people knew they were keeping it to themselves.  Checking the internet, I needed to apply for a visa in advance, but I had to find even that out for myself.

So I went back to them with a proposal: the three people who want to see me can select one person to come and meet me in London on a certain Saturday, which I can plausibly claim is a brief trip home.  They have their main office in London, so it shouldn’t have been that difficult.  Or all three could come, I really didn’t care.  The agent took this proposal to the young HR chap, who seemed reluctant to pass it to his bosses.  Instead he came back with a rather pompous repetition of his previous demand that I show up in this bloody country.  So I told them, once and for all, I’m not sodding going.  I’ve made a proposal, either answer it or leave me alone.  And still nobody was any the wiser as to how I could get a visa.

The agent then kind of got shoved to the side and I spoke directly with the oil company, an HR girl who was actually quite nice.  I told her that before I get on a plane anywhere I need a firm offer to discuss when I get there.  Meanwhile, she was trying to persuade me that I really did need to go for an interview in-country.  So I decided to give her a bit of training in How Oil Companies Normally Interview Candidates In A Sensible Manner (later, my wife thought I should have invoiced them a consultancy fee).  I said it’s fine to want a face-to-face interview, that part I get, but it’s mind-bogglingly stupid to expect candidates to present themselves in the developing world for the purpose.  Every other organisation arranges for all candidates to come to a logical transport hub – Dubai, London, Singapore (where I had my final interview for my current job) – and a panel of managers spend 2-3 days conducting interviews and having a bit of a jolly.  Nobody – not even blitheringly idiotic major oil companies – bring candidates to the arse-end of nowhere.  In my case the Nigerian interview was conducted over the phone once the chaps I met in Singapore had given me the thumbs up.  All of this seemed to be new to her.

What also seemed new to their entire organisation was the impracticality of flying between West African countries.  They approached the whole thing as if it was a simple hop from Paris to London.  For a company which prided itself on its African operations, they seemed to know little about how the place works.

Anyway, they came back with an offer.  By this stage I had given them precise details of my current package, to ensure we’d not all be wasting our time if they were only paying peanuts.  Their offer matched my current package almost to the dollar, only more of theirs was wrapped up in discretionary bonuses.  I was still being taxed at full UK rates, even though this money wouldn’t be handed over to HMRC and I’d have to remain a tax exile.  Bearing in mind this company is very much smaller and far less well known than my current employer, the question of why the hell I would leave for the same money did spring to mind.

When they rang me back, for what was to be the last time, I asked them this.  They said they considered their offer to be competitive, which I suppose it was if they were hiring somebody unemployed and not trying to poach somebody from a much larger and grander organisation.  But these small independent companies have to poach people, and that means giving them an incentive to jump ship.  Paying the same money isn’t going to interest anybody.

But that wasn’t the worst of it.  She repeated the request, now backed by some manager or other, that it was “their policy” to conduct the Stage 2 interviews in-country.  Stage 2?!!  I’d had four interviews over the course of 2-3 months, and we’re still not out of Stage 1?!  They could not do the interview in London because “all the managers cannot come”, and they could not select one to make the trip because “that’s not how they work”.  This was an outfit whose main selling points were quick decisions, flexible operations, efficiency, common sense, and a disregard for procedures.

Also, it wasn’t just the in-country managers who would interview me, I needed to present myself to my future colleagues as well and secure their approval.  Which I admit was a first for me.  Normally your management hires you and you meet your new colleagues on your first day in the office.  This lot seemed to hire via some kind of star chamber.

In withdrawing my candidacy, I pointed out that if I wanted to experience indecision, nonsensical policies, managerial dithering, and general incompetence I could simply attend any random meeting in my own organisation.  I didn’t need to change company to get this sort of thing.  I did remain positive, careful not to burn too many bridges.  But given they were up against my moving to Melbourne, they needed to do one hell of a lot better than this.

(Incidentally, they told me their other candidates had no problem going to interviews in-country.  Which if true, and they find someone suitable, shows them to be doing things right after all.  But I am curious to know who these other candidates were: lordy, if I’m the front-runner they can’t be that great!  And I can’t imagine too many decent candidates leaving a major oil company to take up this role.  So it wouldn’t surprise me if I get a call in 6 months time saying the position has magically reopened and would I be interested in reapplying?)

Posted in Oil & Gas, Recruitment | 8 Comments

Early Observations

1. The service in Melbourne bars is miles better than in the the UK.  Last Friday night I went to meet a friend in a city centre bar after work and found it absolutely packed – outside.  But inside was merely very busy.  My heart sank, thinking I’d be waiting 20 mins to get served at an understaffed bar, but there I was in under a minute holding a drink.  I found a similar pattern in the (many) other bars we visited that night.  Even when packed, you get served.  I think the difference is Australian bars are staffed properly, i.e. they have enough people working.  In the UK, they try to keep costs down by employing 2 people to cover 20m of bar space with 1 other person operating the dishwasher, leaving customers in a ruck 3 people deep and very thirsty.  Australians appear to have figured out the best way to get customers’ money out of their pockets and into the till is to serve them drinks as quickly as possible.  This is good.

2. Aussies are a friendly bunch.  Everyone you encounter seems to be happy to see you, or at least say hello.  A cheerful lot, Australians.

3. The food in Melbourne is brilliant, at least in terms of variety.  I’m the wrong bloke to judge food quality, but it’s good enough for me and you can get whatever you want within 5 minutes of the hotel.

4. There are a lot of Asians in Melbourne, and it comes as an initial surprise to hear them speaking with thick Australian accents (obviously being second or third generation).  I’m guessing hearing London’s Indians speaking in cockney accents for the first time sounds odd at first, too.

5. They are absolutely bananas about Australian rules football in Melbourne, with either the players or the games dominating the back half of the papers.  To be fair, I did know this before I came, but did not appreciate the extent to which it is true.

6. Speaking of Aussie rules, not a day goes by without a player having to apologise over some incident or other in a bar or club the previous weekend.

7. What’s with the pimped up, lowered ‘utes?  They look seriously naff.

8. Melbourne is very nice, but parts of it aren’t. King Street on a Saturday night resembles Glasgow at much the same time.

9. Wild Turkey is very popular here, being a lot of people’s bourbon of choice.  I’ve even seen advertisements for it, which I’ve not seen elsewhere.

10. Bourbon is not the same as whiskey in Australia.

11. The main casino in Melbourne (and I believe they have similar ones in the other Australian cities) is enormous.  You don’t see casinos of this size in the UK, and unlike the one in Manchester, Melbourne’s wasn’t filled with Chinese men in shell suits.

12. The Tan running track is fantastic!!  It’s a gravel track in a 3.8km circuit around the botanical gardens made especially for running and walking.  I ran it last weekend for what I’m sure will be the first of many times, it was great.

13. I appear to know more about the Australian cricket team than most Australians.  Three years of being in Nigeria glued to Supersports TV can explain that one.

14. The internet is seriously crap by European or Asian standards.  It is slow and expensive, and free wi-fi is very hard to find (in Tallinn they have free wi-fi in the parks).  I have heard different explanations for this, ranging from the geographic isolation of Australia (only 1 connection in and out) to the lack of competition between providers.

15. A year living here will be one hell of a lot of fun!

Posted in Australia | 15 Comments

A Pointless Enquiry

These two stories regarding Australian oil and gas development projects are worth reading together.

Firstly:

The Western Australian government is to hold an enquiry into the potential effects of floating liquefied natural gas (FLNG) on the state economy.

Both the major WA political parties are said to be concerned that FLNG projects replacing traditional land-based liquefaction could hit state revenues and cost jobs. Shell’s flagship Prelude FLNG that is targeting start-up in 2016 could trigger a run on floating liquefaction, not least because of the lower capital expenditure.

Given that the oil companies have all but explicitly stated that the primary driver of FLNG is to avoid Australia’s exorbitant labour and construction costs, I’m left wondering why they need an enquiry to tell them whether FLNG will cost Australia jobs.  Of course it will, that’s the whole point.

Secondly (emphasis mine):

Australian Resources and Energy Minister Gary Gray has warned of the challenges and increased cost pressures facing liquefied natural gas projects.

He also highlighted the pressure of labour costs placed on projects by demands from unions such as the Maritime Union of Australia (MUA) which is reportedly bargaining for chefs working on the Inpex-operated Ichthy’s project off the north-west of Australia to be paid up to A$230,000 (US$221,428.25) a year.

“We do have to be conscious that unreasonable wage demands do place pressures on projects,” Gray said.

“My observations are not anti-union, my observations are about how prudent that behaviour is, the MUA’s behaviour, and I don’t think it’s prudent.“

“There are occasions when fabrication industries through the Henderson industrial precinct of Western Australia are having trouble shifting their locally constructed components up on to Barrow Island,” he explained.

“That is a consequence of actions taken from time to time by the MUA, that is not acceptable.”

You still need that enquiry, chaps?

Posted in Australia, Oil & Gas | 3 Comments

Preparations for an Assignment in Australia

In anticipation of my upcoming 12 month assignment in Australia, I have prepared as follows:

1. My music collection has been purged of all artists except AC/DC.
2. I have an appointment to get a naff Southern Cross tattooed on my right shoulder blade, with the inscription Yeah, facken true blue Aussie, mate! underneath.
3. I can talk with reasonable authority about the rise and fall of Ben Cousins and Wayne Carey.
4. I can tell you the last time the NSW RL was good. Andrew Ettingshausen was still playing. Brad Fittler was on debut.
5. I have learned the lyrics to every song (i.e. both of them) by The Hunters & Collectors.
6. I know enough to refrain from pointing out that the Cold Chisel anthem Khe Sanh, sung by millions of Aussies with patriotic tears in their eyes, is actually about somebody getting *out* of Australia. Jimmy Barnes didn’t stick around.
7. I am changing my name to “Pommie Caaaaaaaant” in anticipation of being addressed thusly for the entirety of my stay.
8. I have developed an allergy for sleeves. From now on it’s beer singlets only, unless I’m at a job interview in which case a beer t-shirt is allowed for a maximum of an hour.
9. I have studied Australian law to discover that glassing your girlfriend in a nightclub is okay (especially if you are a famous footy player), but disrespecting The Don is punishable by a lengthy prison sentence.
10. From now on I will refer to all persons by the first syllable of their last name with an “o” tacked on the end.
11. On the mere sight of a bottle of Bundaberg Rum I will punch the nearest male of fighting age in the face.
12. And afterwards I’ll tell people “I had a blue”.
13. I will give Queenslanders a few minutes extra to complete their sentences.
14. I will assume that all food originated from Australia by prefixing ordinary dishes with the word “Aussie”.
15. I know that despite the best efforts of most Australian males to claim the title, there is only one “King Wally”.
16. I have learned that the pinnacle of the Australian fashion industry is called Ugg.
17. I will not point out that Australians are the only people who eat their national coat of arms.
18. The Aussie use of the word “thong” ceased to be funny to me years ago.
19. I have integrated myself into Australian culture by watching re-runs of Underbelly, so now I will not be lost when The Carlton Crew and Roberta Williams are topics of conversation.
20. I no longer recognise the island of Bali as belonging to Indonesia.

Posted in Australia | 22 Comments

A Move to Melbourne

I’m currently sitting in Melbourne, Australia where I am spending 3 weeks in the offices of a large engineering company who are carrying out works for us in relation to a major project in Nigeria.  After the 3 weeks I’ll be going to Phuket for 2 weeks holiday and to remind myself what my wife looks like, and then it’ll be back to Lagos for 3-4 weeks for a handover and what ought to be my demobilisation.  The intention is I’ll be coming back to Melbourne in late July or August to live here permanently for the next 12 months or so.

Which isn’t bad.

I flew via Paris where I’d spent the previous week on an excellent and long overdue training course on Interpersonal Skills.  Trust me, I needed it.  I flew via Hong Kong, the 11-hour first leg on Air France where they gave us a crappy old plane with obvious signs of wear and tear.  I was in business class (thank God) and all my kit worked, but the chap next to me couldn’t get his seat to recline properly.  Given what they charge, it’s pretty poor service, especially on what must be a flagship route for them.  Okay, send a crap plane to Lagos, but not to Hong Kong.  The flight was pretty miserable, albeit through no fault of Air France, although they did provide the bottle of Wild Turkey of which I did drink half, fell asleep, awoke an hour later with a thumping headache and remained that way until we landed in the Orient.

The next leg was with Cathay Pacific who were fabulous.  The business class seats are less seats than your own personal den, with a bed that lies completely flat.  It was the best I’ve been on yet, and knocked Air France into a cocked hat.  The stewardesses called me by name and fed me, perhaps sensing that the latter goes a long way to keeping me quiet.  It was 9 hours of complete comfort and relaxation, and I can highly recommend it if you have a few grand to spare or an employer with deep pockets.

Melbourne airport was a breeze, especially compared to Lagos.  I’m sure the Australians think it a grand facility, but by European standards it’s a small regional airport.  Within 20 minutes I’d passed immigration, collected my bags, convinced the quarantine officials I wasn’t carrying seeds, fruit, or timber about my person, and jumped in a taxi which had a meter that worked and was on.  Three minutes out of the airport and we passed Sexy Land, the Adult Entertainment Superstore.  What sort of perverts do they have down here, I wondered?  I hit a snag halfway to the hotel when I discovered I’d left my iPhone on the plane.  I was about to fly into a rage but, remembering my Interpersonal Skills training and trying it out on myself, I resorted to quietly kicking myself instead.

When I got to the hotel I called the Melbourne Airport information desk, and somebody answered who was not a complete fuckwit.  They put me through to the Cathay Pacific lounge (the office was closed for the night) where the phone was too answered and by somebody who was not a complete fuckwit.  That put the score Australia 2 Nigeria 0 so far for each overseas assignment.  The Cathay Pacific girl said she’d check and asked me to call back in 30 mins or so, which I did, but they’d not found anything.  That made me pretty depressed and I stayed that way for the next 5 minutes until she rang me back and said they’d found it after all and I could collect it from their office the next day!  I was pleased as hell, and Cathay Pacific rocketed even further up in my estimation.

I’d never been to Australia before, indeed I’d only briefly stepped over the equator once during a week’s holiday in Bali, so I had much to learn.  Or as things turned out, I didn’t.  Melbourne city centre looks a lot like that of any British city at ground level, only when you look up you see high-rise buildings you barely see outside of London.  The autumn weather was very Manchester-like.  We had rain, wind, overcast skies, cold, sunshine, and blue skies in the space of my first few days.  Manchester even had a tram system, too.  But for all that, the place is obviously foreign – mainly because the shopfronts and adverts are not immediately recognisable, and it just feels different.  And this is where it feels strange for me.  Jokes about Aussie English aside, and bearing in mind I’ve not been to the US in almost a decade, being in a foreign country where English is the native language feels deeply, deeply weird.  I’m a complete stranger – obviously – and hence I need to ask people for help and directions (I did feel particularly stupid asking “Where is the river?”)  I’m used to forming a simplified English sentence in my head before asking, and waiting to decipher the garbled reply which comes back.  Or forming the question in Russian or French, hoping the reply is simple enough for me to understand.  Normally you have to get yourself as close to your goal as possible before asking somebody for help: for instance, make sure you’re in the right shop before asking to buy something.  No such need in Australia, you can just go into a 7-Eleven and ask “Excuse me fella, where do I get one of them there cards you use on the trams and stuff?”  And you’ll be instantly understood and the answer will be in English.  I’m not used to this, and it feels odd.

The other thing I’m not used to is how easy everything is. I call people on the phone, arrange to meet them, and they turn up.  They then proceed to do as I ask and provide the service they are supposed to.  I didn’t see a great deal of this sort of thing in Russia, Thailand, and Nigeria.  Just the array of places to choose from to go to lunch is unusual for me.  For my first two years in Lagos our choice at the staff canteen was either chicken with spaghetti or spaghetti with chicken.  And the chicken got smaller and smaller as my assignment went on until the situation ended up with a Nigerian sitting above an egg with a hammer waiting to whack the hatching chick over the head.

Making the transition from French to Australian wine might take some doing, though.  I normally drink wine which has been approved by my French colleagues or recommended by a French waiter, but last night I had to pick an Australian plonk from a menu.  It tasted like boiled gooseberries, and the glass cost about as much as a bottle in a French supermarket.

I can see I’m going to have a lot of fun here.  I always wanted to come to Australia but didn’t see quite why I should have to fund the trip myself, and now I’ve found somebody else to pick up the tab, here I am.  Some people are saying I am very lucky, which I suppose I am, but given I’ve spent 8 of the last 10 years in Kuwait, Sakhalin Island, and Nigeria I reckon I deserve it!

Posted in Australia, Travel | 12 Comments

A Brief Look at Some Peoples

One wouldn’t expect an engineer to be interested in anthropology – assuming I’ve got the right “-ology” here, for the study of human behaviour – but working in the places I do with such a bewildering array of nationalities, mere observation provides considerable insight into the subject.  I struggle to explain why certain peoples behave as they do, but that they do behave in such a manner is beyond question.

One of the things I noticed about Russians back in my Dubai days was their unwillingness to socialise with one another when abroad.  There were tens of thousands of Russians living (on various visas) in Dubai at the time, yet there was no Russian bar.  There was a sort of Russian nightclub in the Ascot hotel called Troika, but none of the Russians I knew went there, and I don’t think the main clientele were Russian.  There were one or two restaurants serving Russian food, but they also served western and Arabic fare.  Towards the end of my stay a nightclub opened called Red Square or something, and the few Russians who went there said it was gaudy and shite and I don’t think anything became of it.  Outside one or two friends, most Russians in Dubai kept themselves to themselves and had no interest in socialising in “Russian” bars with their compatriots, let alone setting up and running such an establishment in the first place.  I remember being surprised at how fragmented the Russian diaspora in Dubai was, and when I learned more about Russian culture I discovered this was not untypical.  This unwillingness to form groups left ethnic Russians exposed in two situations I have read about.  In the Gulags, the ethnic minorities – the Balts, Chechens, Kazakhs, Poles, etc. – quickly formed groups for protection, and immediately brought any newcomer under their wing.  By contrast, the ethnic Russians arrived alone and were the softest target for sadistic overseers or criminal gangs.  The same thing gets reported in the present day Russian army where the worst victims of Dedovshchina are almost always ethnic Russians having the shit kicked out of them by their own kind.  Rarely is it a Tatar or Buryat who is on the receiving end, they having grouped together for protection.  Among ethnic Russians, there seems almost no concept of mutual support or socialisation outside ones immediate friends.  Making new friends and expanding the group is almost actively avoided, or at least no attempt is made to further such goals.

At the other end of the spectrum you have the Filipinos.  If keeping abreast of the minute details of every friend, family member, and their friends’ work and life is nowadays called social networking, the Filipinos beat Facebook to it by two decades or more.  I have a Filipino colleague in Lagos, who told me of the large Filipino social scene in the city which no outsider would even be aware of.  He stopped taking lunch in the staff canteen after the first couple of weeks when he was invited into a system whereby one of them brings a whole load of others to his apartment and prepares Filipino food, with somebody else doing the honours the next day and so on.  I asked him how he found the other Filipinos in Lagos.  He said they found him.  If any Filipino is in a supermarket and he spies one of his compatriots (they can spot each other a mile off) that he doesn’t recognise, he will go up and ask him if he “knows everybody” yet, and if he doesn’t he will be provided with the necessary phone numbers to get himself into the next social event.  I’m not sure exactly what they do in the evenings, but I heard they have their own parties at the weekends and so have no need to frequent bars or nightclubs.  The Filipinos are mad about basketball, and I asked my colleague if the Filipinos in Lagos had a basket team.  They have a basketball league.

It was the same in Sakhalin.  Every Filipino knew exactly which projects in other locations his friends and family were working on, which positions were available, and how much the going rates were.  They shared information in order to get the best deal and get their countrymen on board.  They stuck together like glue, even if they weren’t particularly good friends.  There was strong evidence that a sauna located not far from the Sakhalin Energy housing complex was actually a brothel catering mainly for Filipinos.  I took an 8-hour overnight train ride up to Gastello with a Filipino once, and we were supposed to be sharing a cabin.  But as soon as he boarded he went up and down the train poking his head in the compartment doors until he (inevitably) found one crammed with other Filipinos and he returned to me, grabbed his stuff, and said he was going to be bunking down there instead. It’s impossible to imagine Russians doing this.

So where do the Brits fit in?  In the oil towns, we don’t actively seek one another out but we end up meeting anyway.  Brits don’t necessarily want to hang out with one another, but we do want to watch football, rugby, and cricket and that means going to a pub which, if you’re abroad, is most likely to be an Irish or British pub.  And once you’re in a pub watching sport more than two weekends on the trot, you’ve pretty much got your social life sorted out.  For me personally, I meet a lot of Australians in Phuket mainly because the best place to watch sport is the Aussie Bar on Bangla Road.

But meeting and socialising with one another isn’t the Brits’ greatest strength.  That is our ability and willingness to socialise with absolutely anybody.  Even the French.

Posted in General Observations | 6 Comments

Lies You Hear in the Oil and Gas Industry

1. You will be met at the airport.

2. The workscope is “frozen”.

3. Safety is our priority.

4. It is important that you share your career aspirations with your management.

5. FEED is complete.

6. Everything is taken care of so you will be able to concentrate on your work.

7. This chap is good, he knows what he’s doing.

8. HR will address the issue.

9. There is “fat” in the budget.

10. This job is urgent.

11. This document has been checked.

12. It was finalised during the meeting.

13. I’m very busy.

14. This is the procedure we use.

15. The living allowances are reviewed regularly.

Posted in Oil & Gas | 4 Comments