Once again Natalia Antonova provides a useful insight into the mindset of modern feminists:
Nobody owes anyone shit. In fact, if you remain faithful purely because you “owe” it, you’re a deeply unhappy individual. What this “owing” business is really about: Some insecure men desiring to *own* women again and fearing competition. Grow up. Get therapy. https://t.co/ySFTLHGHYJ
— Natalia Antonova (@NataliaAntonova) April 30, 2018
The context is fidelity in marriage:
She took his kids away from him, in this situation. And yes, married adults do owe fidelity.
— Syloson (@SylosonsCloak) April 30, 2018
First let’s just address the point that Antonova’s writings are those of someone stuck in permanent, angry adolescence yet she’s telling others to grow up. And the therapy remark? Well, yeah.
But let’s look at her main point: in a marriage, “nobody owes anyone shit”. So presumably this:
“From this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part, according to God’s holy ordinance; and thereto I pledge myself to you.”
is just a load of guff they say to keep the wedding guests amused. Note that both the bride and groom say these words, not just the bride, but that doesn’t stop feminists deriding marriage as a one-sided affair in which the man takes ownership of the woman.
But this doesn’t necessarily have to be about marriage. Any relationship is based on trust, mutual respect, and compromise and within a short time each party owes the other something. Perhaps not in a court of law, but society is governed by its own set of rules and relationships are by definition a series of mutual obligations. If I get drunk and make a fool of myself at a friend’s party, I owe the affected people an apology the next day. If a friend or partner needs my help with something, I am committed to do so regardless of inconvenience to me (within reason). If it’s someone as close as your wife or husband, you are obliged to make all manner of difficult compromises and put yourself to considerable inconvenience for the sake of the other person. That’s the entire point, is it not?
However, this seems to get missed more and more in the modern age. Last year I said in the context of a couple splitting up:
The modern advice is ignore, ignore, ignore – as if the whole thing happened in isolation. I suppose it depends on who you are, but I’m the sort of guy who thinks a woman who you’ve been in a relationship with deserves a period after the breakup of being pissed off, and she has a right to communicate with you.
Modern men and women want to enter into something as complicated as a relationship but expect to be able to exit at the push of a button as if it never happened. I’ve seen women declaring love and talking earnestly with a man about long-term plans and then a few days later end the relationship by phone and block all communication saying “it’s best we both move on”, like some toad of a politician who’s been caught breaking the law. Men do the same thing, and it puts a serious question mark over anything which happened prior to that: if you’re prepared to pull the plug and run away like that, it was probably never serious in the first place – and he or she is certainly not ready for the give-and-take of a proper relationship.
Recently I read these words on the Facebook page of a New York feminist, again in the context of a couple who had split up and the man wasn’t being sufficiently mute about it:
We owe you nothing. Not our bodies, or our time, or looking a certain way, acting a certain way, or even an explanation or response.
Got that, everyone? When we enter into a relationship with you, we don’t even have to give you our time, and we can walk away whenever we like without even a response or explanation. And we can behave however we please, as well. This is bad enough in itself, but the mindset leads to women initiating divorce for the most petty of reasons, knowing the law will allow them to take the house and the bulk of her husband’s wealth along with their children. If someone were to make a list of the ideologies which are causing the greatest damage to western society, modern feminism would be very near the top. This is why I rail against it so much on this blog.
The idea that you owe nobody anything in a relationship goes beyond amoral into outright sociopathy. Thanks to Antonova’s habit of airing her personal laundry all over Twitter, we know she was in an abusive marriage and is now divorced. I do not condone marital abuse of any kind, but I will say that if you enter into a relationship with the attitude that “nobody owes anyone shit” things are unlikely to go very well thereafter. It’s why I said the other day that knowing a person’s past is absolutely essential when beginning a new relationship: you have no idea what you may be getting into. There are some serious sociopaths out there, and while many do, not all of them advertise it.