Stories of Workplace Bullying

Via Daniel Ream, an article sharing horror stories of workplace bullying. Here’s the first:

My manager/direct supervisor would constantly comment on my food choices (fruit has too much sugar), my body (my arms were too toned), and my clothing choices (the shoes I wore looked like nurses shoes). She’d constantly tell me I dressed like a granny, and ridicule me for anything and everything. She once told me I was “too big” for a work shirt and gave me one once she felt I had lost enough weight.

The second:

I was repeatedly laughed at and called the “B” word by some of my co-workers. When I brought it to the attention of two of my supervisors, they did nothing. They didn’t even acknowledge the email that I sent them. … Nothing was said to my co-workers who were sitting around gossiping and allowing the bullying.

The third:

I was placed with this woman on the night shift. The next time I saw her, she yelled across the hospital ‘howdy, F**KER.’ I assume she thought this was amusing because it sounds similar to my last name. It didn’t just stop there. For months and months, she only referred to me as f*cker.

The fourth:

I was bullied, belittled and verbally abused by my co-workers. I had a co-worker come up to me on numerous occasions and speak to me in an aggressive and bullying way about how she WANTS things done HER way. She said to me “you need to do it like I told you” then she proceeds to walk away and says “God damn how f***ing hard is it for her to do as she is told?”

The fifth:

When I was younger, I went to work in the traditionally male-dominated fire department as a paramedic. I was the only woman in one department, and in another was one of 16 women in a 550 person department. I had men who were kind and helpful; however, I also had men who did their best to make my life difficult. … The worst part of the experience were some of the wives of my co-workers. An example: When I answered the station phone (remember no cell phones back then), one wife called me the station whore.

The sixth:

I worked in a place with an old boys club mentality for years, and I was a director who set policies for my department. Instead of having my back, the CEO, who was my boss, yelled at me in front of another employee saying “why can’t you just be nicer?” because that employee had gone to him complaining that they didn’t like the policy I had put in place. I also had a peer who, when I was pregnant, would go around and pretend to snap rubber gloves at his wrist and tell me he was ready to deliver the baby.

The seventh:

Working in Silicon Valley, I didn’t expect that being gay would raise an issue with anyone. After three years with the company (and being out), I brought my other half to the company holiday party. On the following Monday, peers from another department stood outside my office and cracked some really disgusting gay and AIDS jokes, yukking it up all the while.

The eighth:

At the time I was in a biracial relationship. I had talked about my partner and how great they were and everyone was happy for me, until they saw his picture. That’s when the “jokes” started.

The ninth:

I had a co-worker who was promoted to a supervisory position. She then spent the next six months chasing off anyone who had more knowledge and experience than she did. The way she did that was by accusing employees of things that they didn’t do, putting notes into the personnel files, calling them names, and humiliating as many people as she could. On my last day, she had an employee in her office behind a closed door, and everyone could hear her screaming at the top of her lungs.

The tenth:

I had been working at my company for almost 5 years when my boss was replaced by a woman who was at least 20 years younger than both of us. She would humiliate/berate me in front of staff, text me 24/7 and keep texting if I didn’t respond immediately, pound her fists on the desk, blame me for everything, throw the “F” bomb around casually, and much more. She was a nightmare.

The eleventh:

My supervisor above me would harass myself and the team I worked with almost every day. She would call me out, treat me as if I were a child, test our intelligence, etc… We would work our butts off to be at the top and she would treat us as if we were employees who didn’t know what we were doing, acted as if we were lazy (we weren’t), and everything under the micromanager book. It was awful; I gained 40 lbs and my hair started falling out.

The fourteenth:

I had just been promoted to Deputy Editor after being with the magazine for 10 years. At the same time, my Editor-in-Chief retired and was replaced with a much younger woman who had less experience than me, but had more television and online experience. Once we started working together she began bullying me by taking away some perks that I had acquired over time, syncing my calendar to hers, taking over my meetings, belittling me in the meetings, asking me to do things that were clearly part of her job, and then changing the deadlines so I could never accurately finish on time with all my other duties.

Has anyone spotted the pattern yet?

Nos. 7 and 8 appear to concern homophobia and racism, and No. 6 old fashioned misogyny. Nos. 12, 13, and possibly 11 concern men. The rest are stories of women making other (presumably) women’s lives miserable. Even in No. 5 where she was the butt of firemen’s jokes, the worst abuse came from their wives. We don’t have a gender for those involved in No. 2, but given they were sitting around gossiping we can perhaps take a guess. Note also the difference in the nature of the bullying, how personal women make it.

The answer, of course, is to lecture men on the patriarchy and adopt policies aimed at putting more women in positions of power. That’ll sort it.

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27 thoughts on “Stories of Workplace Bullying

  1. My sister can vouch for the fact that female-dominated work environments are invariably toxic. For the women, mostly.

  2. I once had a department supervisor who would verbally abuse me in the office because I was a “rooinek”, “souty” etc. The usual epithets used by Afrikaners towards British immigrants. One day I bit back at him and said at least I’m not a “thick hairyback” at which he grabbed me by my tie and threatened to smack me one.

    I waited until he went off to the toilet and followed him in. While he was having a piss I pushed him up against the urinal and told him that if he ever did that to me again or insulted me in front of the office he would be leaving work early for a trip to A&E. He left me alone after that.

    Bullies just need a taste of their own medicine – usually in private just so they know where they stand.

  3. Women are incapable of working together. Highlights of what I’ve witnessed include:

    1. My first office job where two women, both in their twenties, could not be in the same room together without screaming and trying to tear chunks out of each other. There was no reason for this other than a clash of personalities.

    2. My wife having to fire someone, in part, because of her racial abuse towards another more popular member of staff.

    3. An 18 year old daughter of friends with low self-esteem and anxiety, bullied out of the job she was so pleased to get by her supervisor. The supervisor saw her weaknesses and made her life hell.

    I’ve never seen this with men. Yep, we might not like some of the people we work with but there’s a job to be done and we’ve all got to muck in. Otherwise there’s a bollocking to be had. Personally, I’ve always found it easier to crack on with the job rather than fighting about it and dealing with the inevitable fallout when nothing gets done.

  4. Meh.

    Once you hold up a ladle full of sympathy for everyone who claims to have been bullied, a lot of things suddenly become bullying.

    I had a co-worker come up to me on numerous occasions and speak to me in an aggressive and bullying way about how she WANTS things done HER way. She said to me “you need to do it like I told you” then she proceeds to walk away and says “God damn how f***ing hard is it for her to do as she is told?”

    Maybe you’re a careless idiot, whose incompetence is driving everyone around you crazy. When they naturally express frustration at your inability to perform simple tasks, you chalk it up as ‘having been bullied’.

    Instead of having my back, the CEO, who was my boss, yelled at me in front of another employee saying “why can’t you just be nicer?” because that employee had gone to him complaining that they didn’t like the policy I had put in place.

    Or the other employee had gone to complain about the rude and bullying manner in which you implemented your policy, and said nothing about the actual policy. But when only one side tells the story, everything’s just butterflies and unicorns except for these other nasty people who keep bullying for no reason!

    At the time I was in a biracial relationship. I had talked about my partner and how great they were and everyone was happy for me, until they saw his picture. That’s when the “jokes” started.

    Sounds like your friends are teasing you. Maybe the “jokes” were just jokes.

    Other instances do sound like genuine bullying, but I’m skeptical of such stories which come with no independent corroboration. I also had an idiot boss once (male) with whom I didn’t get along, who was crass and high-handed and looking for an excuse to get rid of me. I could easily transform that experience into a bullying sob-story, if only someone would hold out a large enough box of tissues.

  5. It (being that women are the source of all good and men are the source of all evil) is just another of the things that everyone knows is b*llocks, but that everyone in the public sphere has to pretend is true. Others being the NHS is Wonderful, Islam is a Religion of Peace, Diversity/Mass Immigration is Good for the Country etc etc.

    The SJWs have fallen into a nasty trap – because some of the areas they chose to campaign on in the past, such as gay rights, women’s right and anti-racism, have proved to be very successful, and society has genuinely changed its views over time, they assume that they can do the same for every idea they get in their heads. Whereas the reality is that society would have changed anyway, all the campaigning made little difference, maybe purely of a timescale nature. Society was moving in a certain direction regardless, the Left was just pushing with the flow.

    Whereas many if not all the areas such as I mentioned above society is not going in the direction the SJWs want. On immigration, cultural diversity, trans rights, gender roles etc society is probably moving away from the SJW position, as we are seeing around the world – voters are voting for non-PC candidates in droves. People are seeing a disconnect between the public line and what they see and experience themselves, and the usual suspects are having to scream louder and louder to try and shout people down and brow beat them that black is white. Eventually the people have enough and vote for Trump, Le Pen, Bolsonaro, the current Italian government, UKIP, AfD etc etc, even the likes of Erdogan and Putin, because they are fed up with the lies and the changes being forced upon them.

    The Left can’t see this – they are literally driving electorates into the arms of authoritarian hard men, and the experience of the last few years suggests that the Left are going to double down hard, and that means the reaction to the Right (really towards authoritarianism) is going to be equally large. It really isn’t going to be nice, particularly for the Left and their current band of favoured sections of society (who are of course expendable in the Left’s continuous search for levers to gain power).

  6. Absolutely spot on, Jim.

    I think one also has to factor in the reluctance of conservatives to fight back as opposed to ceding ground where it becomes necessary to fight the SJWs in their own land of make-believe.

    One only has to look at the current uselessness of the (British) Conservative Party; led by a silly hectoring ninny who once thought it was a clever wheeze to concede that the Conservatives were indeed “the Nasty Party”, instead of taking on the very simple task of exposing the Left’s dubious claims to the moral high ground to be spurious. Then, more recently, there has been the consistent adoption of the use of “austerity” to describe economic policies that have induced nothing of the sort.

    I do get a sense that on the whole, a change is coming; for example, the younger generation of my own family now, having left school/university, treat the whole panoply of SJW bullshit with knowing and amused contempt.

  7. The answer, of course, is to lecture men on the patriarchy and adopt policies aimed at putting more women in positions of power. That’ll sort it.

    It probably will sort it, just not in any way that the SJW’s will like or appreciate…

  8. Another pattern I spotted is much of the described “bullying” is remedied or mitigated by speaking the f*ck up about it to the offenders. Then escalating your protest to include leaving the job if necessary.

    Then again, I was taught that an adult should tolerate everything except abuse. Once that threshold is crossed you have to actually BE an adult, not hope someone will ride in on a white steed to save you.

    But, if most people were like that we wouldn’t have much need for HR, eh Tim? =)

  9. What happened in 12 and 13?

    I didn’t copy and paste all of them on the grounds I thought readers might find it tedious. I think of you lot first and foremost, you know.

  10. Another pattern I spotted is much of the described “bullying” is remedied or mitigated by speaking the f*ck up about it to the offenders.

    So I’ll chime in here.

    To start with, I’ve been watching the modern “anti-bullying” movement with contempt and bemusement, because they’ve almost successfully hidden their agenda.

    Bullying involves the use of force or the credible threat of force. That’s what the word ‘bullying’ has meant for centuries. The redefinition of ‘bullying’ to mean insults and verbal teasing comes from the LGBTQWERTY activists (the original incident zero involved a kid being called gay for wearing a pink shirt to school) who are trying to suppress and ultimately criminalize any criticism of gay anything. The original tactic was to conflate verbal teasing with physical violence by leveraging that old “gay teens commit suicide because kids say mean things” chestnut, but it doesn’t matter now; the hand-wringing left has successfully redefined ‘bullying’ to mean anyone saying anything mean about anyone, anywhere.

    No one who has seen the first season – the first five minutes – of Orange is the New Black would be surprised by this article. The avuncular prison guard tells the female protagonist straight up that women fight with words and status games, not shivs in the shower. This is all Evo Psych 101, and if everyone weren’t so damned determined to avoid noticing things we’d never create an organization full of women and expect it to get anything done. Men will naturally fall into a hierarchy aimed at accomplishing a specific goal, and while empire-building can be a problem it’s easily resolved by keeping the organization small.

    That said, an organization full of women headed by an alpha male, such as a secretarial pool or a school, seems to do all right if the male is allowed to step in and sort out the bitchy status games and if he doesn’t succumb to temptation.

  11. But, if most people were like that we wouldn’t have much need for HR, eh Tim?

    HR departments are extremely good at doing things they shouldn’t while being terrible at those they should.

  12. It’s fascinating to me just how many stories I hear from acquaintances who work in the public sector about female on female bullying. Just like the good old lefty argument about socialism, they always seem to attribute the cause of such incidents to the wrong sort of women being promoted into positions of power from which they can unleash their inner bully.

    Now why do so many of the wrong sort of women get into these positions? Well, I’m pleased to report that it is because the ONLY way women can progress in their public sector career is to behave like men. When they behave like women the evil patriarchy don’t identify their talent and they get passed over for promotions. FACT.

    It’s really obvious when you don’t think about it.

  13. “It’s fascinating to me just how many stories I hear from acquaintances who work in the public sector about female on female bullying. ”

    Another bit of anecdata – a good female friend of mine was suffering at the hands of another women in her office (she works for the Probation service), who was waging a war of constant sniping and belittling of my friend, who I can honestly say is one of the most easy going level headed non bitchy women I have ever known. This bully had not only previously latched on to other people in the same office, she’d even been transferred from her previous dept because of bullying complaints there too. Yet management won’t do anything about it, this being the civil service she’s basically unsackable. She’s now transferred her attentions to another (male) employee in the office, so my friend is off the hook, but the cycle continues……

  14. @Lancastrian Oik on October 31, 2018 at 1:06 pm said:

    Absolutely spot on, Jim.

    +1 to you both

    Cameron now May’s Not The Conservative Party infuriates me.

    May’s “we’re the nasty party” statement should have led to expulsion – context irrelevant

    As for “austerity” which never happened, they again gave left/msm a stick to beat them with.

    If Cam/Osb had balls they would have cut hard and fast whilst waving Byrne’s “No money left” note. A massive missed opportunity.

    Not ignoring or fighting back against Left, Green, SJW blackmailers is bad, appeasing them is no gain lunacy.

  15. ” I think of you lot first and foremost, you know.”

    I don’t use the word hero often Tim, but you are the greatest hero of all time.

    but still a wankpuffin.

  16. “It’s fascinating to me just how many stories I hear from acquaintances who work in the public sector about female on female bullying.”

    To add to the anecdotes. When I was on a contract to Govt for as a subject matter expert the project leader, quite a strong woman who I had a lot of respect for, was brought to tears by the SoS, a woman. I wasn’t in the room but it was so bad that even the SpAds came to apologise, as did the department director.

    In my own case, on my first job after leaving the Army two of us were up for replacing our boss who was moving on. He got the job, which I expected and didn’t have a problem with. When we continued working the way we had he gave me a foul mouthed dressing down in public for doing something we’d always done. After everyone had left the room I explained to him, in a calm voice, that he if he ever did it again I’d deck him. He didn’t and we got on well again.

  17. I didn’t copy and paste all of them on the grounds I thought readers might find it tedious. I think of you lot first and foremost, you know.

    But you referenced them in your commentary…

    Nos. 12, 13, and possibly 11 concern men.
    Just sayin’

  18. But you referenced them in your commentary…

    Everything mentioned must be copied and pasted? You sound like a French manager instructing an underling on a presentation!

  19. In my experience – which is actually somewhat relevant for once – women are like the Irish: they’re not happy unless they’re feuding with someone.

    If you are in a female-dominated work environment, and you’re not the target of someone’s feud, don’t think yourself safe: eventually people move jobs, and then there’s going to be a gap, and you just might find yourself filling it.

    I think Tim’s right, rigidly segregating the entire workforce on sexual lines is the only workable solution.

  20. “I think Tim’s right, rigidly segregating the entire workforce on sexual lines is the only workable solution.”

    I’m not sure thats necessary, or very efficient. All female working environments are incredibly unproductive, because a huge amount of the energy gets diverted to the bitching and cat fighting. What is required is that a) all managers are men, b) the % of women in any given team is kept as low as possible, and c) that women are kept out of HR, certainly the bits with power. Filing and processing, fine.

    I would hazard a guess that a good deal of the bullying cases mentioned are not resolved because the person charged with dealing with it is also female, and fails to deal properly with the issue.

  21. I’m not sure that’s necessary, or very efficient.

    Alternatively, repeal any and all laws that require that employers hire women (or minorities, or anyone the employer doesn’t actually want to hire). Don’t *prohibit* the hiring of such people, but don’t *mandate* it either. Restore freedom of association and let the chips fall where they may.

    Unlikely of course. Even the Feminists seem to tacitly acknowledge that women aren’t as productive in the workforce as men. Their constant harping on how governments must *force* employers to hire more women is a de facto admission that women aren’t generally worth hiring on their own merits (standard caveats apply, NAWALT, etc).

  22. Too many gross generalisations here. I have a woman boss who is brilliant as she is clear, analytical, understands priorities and politics. I’ve had male bosses who are vindictive, lack capability, are intensely political but only for back stabbing purposes rather than progressing important work, etc

    Males and females differ substantially in aggregate but individuals can be bastards or bitches or gods or goddesses quite independently. The worst offenders are those who get promoted to a level their competence can’t match. Usually this is due to their cultivating relationships or taking credit for worknof others or similar upwards only glorifying. Once they get high enough they feel exposed and fuck over everyone below them as a way of compensating for their own feeling of powerlessness as they recognise their own incompetence. It can happen at the lowest to highest levels.

    But nah. Let’s all bitch about women as if they were a homogenous group and men were perfect. That’s SJW talk in reverse.

  23. A suitable rejoinder to #5 would be, “I’m glad you mentioned this, your husband is behind in his payments.”

  24. “Males and females differ substantially in aggregate but individuals can be bastards or bitches or gods or goddesses quite independently.”

    No one is saying otherwise. The problem is that the public line is that more women in the work place is the Holy Grail, they are wholly positive in effect, and that there are no downsides to this concept.

    Whereas the reality is what Tim posts above – a disproportionate amount of bullying in the workplace involves female bullies. Now that could be cherry picking, and I’m sure there are plenty cases of male bullies that posters on here could point to. But there’s a complete silence from the authorities on something we all know exists, female bullies. Thats the problem here – the refusal of the adults in the room (ie those in power in society) to even acknowledge ANY detriments to female character.

  25. Thats the problem here – the refusal of the adults in the room (ie those in power in society) to even acknowledge ANY detriments to female character.

    Exactly, plus their periods attract bears

  26. If it’s just about the hypocrisy then I’m ok with that. Totally agree with the inconsistency of idolising women and people with protected characteristics as being different and special whilst saying we are all the same

    At my work we have a drive for more women and more diversity. When asked whether this means people like me, white heterosexual male from comprehensive school (then Oxford, MBA etc), are missing something they state No! In which case why can’t we have a purely merit based system? But we do! Oh in which case why do we have targets for representation of certain groups? Ah but they’re just targets!

    What happens when they are not reached? We will be told we are sexist and racist as the targets were not met. Hmmm

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