Staying on much the same topic (no doubt to the disappointment of my more sophisticated readers), a Kiwi reader sends me this article:
A Kiwi woman who married her Bumble match on the first date has split from the man two months later so she could return to a polyamorous lifestyle.
Sarah Elliott, 34, a nanny in the UK, matched with lighting technician Paul Edwards, 37, on the dating app on December 15 last year.
Aw, how sweet!
After the wedding, Elliott, of East Sussex, revealed her love of BDSM and fetish parties, the Daily Mail reports.
Ah. Not so sweet.
The dominatrix told the newspaper how she moved her then-husband Paul Edwards into her flat after they got married – which she shared with two ex-boyfriends also called Paul.
As the weeks went by she tried to introduce Edwards to the fetish community but claims he found it too difficult and was often jealous.
I expect he was told he was being “judgmental” and it was his fault for not being open-minded enough. To be fair it is his fault, but for being an idiot and marrying someone he didn’t know, not anything else.
At first the three Pauls got along, she claims, but rows quickly started and the situation got out of hand.
In an effort to work on their strained relationship the couple went to a sex party at the Torture Garden Club.
This is like an alcoholic trying to overcome dependency by going to the Munich beer festival.
But she says, Edwards was unable to contain his jealousy and things deteriorated further.
Despite another reconciliation bid at a sex party at Le Boudoir in central London, Edwards eventually moved out.
I don’t suppose they tried just talking it out in their living room, did they?
Another of the Pauls also moved out, leaving Elliott struggling financially.
I’m amazed other aspects of this woman’s life are a complete sh*tshow.
Elliott set up a dating profile with OkCupid in May and is already seeing a 29-year-old and a 27-year-old at the same time, she told The Sun.
As I’ve said before: go long on 1) those who hold the patents on anti-depressant medicine and 2) cat manufacturers.