Open Thread

Sorry folks, I’ve got final exams all this week so posting might be a bit sporadic unless something really jumps out at me. Feel free to talk among yourselves.

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14 thoughts on “Open Thread

  1. Thanks, Nigel. I should do well, this isn’t engineering and I’m a lot older than back then. 🙂 But still, I need to knuckle down and learn this stuff inside and out.

  2. “Final” exams? I thought you’d only just started the course??

    Good luck anyway. Stick it to them!

  3. I thought you’d only just started the course??

    End of the second semester! I finish the whole thing (minus dissertation) on 10th June. Each semester is separate, so we’re examined at the end of each. “Finals” differentiates them from the “mid-terms”. Yeah, we’re in an American system here.

  4. Bloody USians ruining perfectly clear terminology. I hope you “tabled” a request to change this?

  5. MBA courses ticked off:

    P101: Power-dressing to impress.

    T102: Maximising airmiles, hotel bonus programs, and telling tedious plane journey stories to other people in the boarding queue.

    H114: If your people aren’t following the process, the people are wrong not the process. This module will teach you how to add another process on top to monitor peoples’ lack of adherence to the original process.

    M202: How to run a meeting about the agenda for the meeting about the meeting to plan the planning meeting.

    C391: Your newest underling has an idea that will improve productivity. Should you crush them or take credit for their idea? Or both?! This role-playing, team-building scenario run by expensive consultants brought in to waste your company’s money will help you decide!

    W102: Advanced victim hierarchy analysis. Postmodern victim analysis theory holds that hierarchical status is determined by the product of the amount of noise made by the offended person and a constant determined by their level of victimhood, divided by the square root of the offender’s level of woke. The latest research has indicated that the constants for each group and intersectionality group are in a state of continual flux. Can you guess for which victim group the constant never decreases? Or for which oppressor group no level of wokeness makes up for accidentally using last month’s acceptable terminology for black people?

    XXX69: Shagging the secretary and getting away with it. Course cancelled until further notice.*

    *: Because no one has secretaries any more anyway, duh.

  6. We should get a dialog started around the BiG piece, and leverage it.
    Is it a space we want to play in?

    A sample question from WNK666 / Software Change Management:

    a) The change is estimated at 20.65 hours for development, plus 20.25 hours for testing, bug fixes and other
    b) System testing, after development, is estimated at 8.242 hours
    c) User Acceptance testing, which must follow, is estimated at 7.8 hours
    d) You have 4 weeks to complete a), and a further 4 weeks to complete b) and c), with one resource for each function.

    To the nearest week, by how many months will the change be delayed?

  7. Answer: fire anyone who takes that question seriously.

    Seriously. 20.65 hours for development? .65 hours? That’s what, 39 minutes? No developer ever gave such an estimate.

  8. Extent of overtime permitted?

    Hours per working day, if any, after mandatory timesheet recording, security training, diversity training, competition law training, appraisal objective recording, personal development milestone assesment, stretch target challenges, (well you get the idea).

    Extra time allowed to recover build machine confiscated by the desk police for being left running, unattended overnight, in hot-desking office.

    Extra time to procure, fit and rebuild system disk trashed when said desk police removed machine by detaching power cord. Note that for live system compatibility, all libraries to be RHEL 4 (circa 2005). There are no storage areas, to keep open plan office looking tidy, so no backups stored on site.

    You probably think the above is made up. I only wish it was.

  9. Jonathan, the developer won’t give such an estimate but you can bet a bag of beans to a barrel of pigshit that the scrum master will interpret it as such.

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