Hidden Figures

In the comments under my latest podcast on the subject of sexual promiscuity, Jim makes an interesting point:

I would suggest that in hard numbers a man in later life will still be viewed better by women for X previous partners than a woman would be by men for the same number, assuming a similar quality of partners on both sides.

This is true, and it explains why women lie about the numbers. Recall that my podcast was prompted by this tweet:


If women didn’t think their value in the dating marketplace was devalued by the number of partners they’d had, there would be no reason for them to lie about it. Sure, men lie too, but mainly to inflate the numbers. Then when they settle down and their partner asks them, they deflate the number to avoid looking like a complete fanny-rat.

However, both men and women lie about this stuff in part to avoid hurting the feelings of someone they care about. This is why sensible women who have enjoyed themselves at college learn to shut the f*** up, or lie when asked. A point I made in my book is the truth often doesn’t matter as much as how it’s presented. Most blokes these days know they’re not marrying virgins, but they’d prefer their partner applies some discretion and not mention their sexual history, and the same goes for the man. By being tactful, it’s a sign one partner respects the other and doesn’t want to hurt them unnecessarily.

Unfortunately, modern feminism decrees a woman should openly brag about her promiscuity. Not only does this put potential suitors off for crude biological reasons, it’s also a sign she doesn’t respect her partner nor care much for his feelings. Put simply, having several sexual partners doesn’t in itself devalue a woman, but it does if the bloke gets to hear about it. As I said, sensible women bury this stuff in a vault.

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9 thoughts on “Hidden Figures

  1. “Don’t ask, don’t tell” is the best policy.

    There are plenty of other indicators that you’re with a car crash of an individual, if you are, the ‘number’ is merely a corroborating statistic.

  2. My youngest sons former girlfriend was a Medical Researcher, and she said promiscuity was a bad idea for women, cancer of the cervix one of the delights, if you think back to the nineteenth century the amount of babies born blind to mothers who had syphilis, but young people think theyre immune to everything!

  3. I recently re-read a book by Ian Wisheart called Eves Bite. In it, he debunks a lot of the modern myths about various things,

    One of the interesting things he took a pop at was the New Zealand Governments website and their advice about the effectiveness of condoms in preventing STD’s. The website states it is the best and most effective way to prevent STD’s but Wisheart lists (with links to the original research) about 40 research papers which all repeatedly state that condoms will prevent pregnancy and AIDS/HIV only. They have so slight a reduction in transmission of syphilis, gonorrhoea, chlamydia and other diseases that the figures for “used condoms, rate of infection = X%, never used condoms, rate of infection = Y%” where the difference in the infection rate can be put down to statistical uncertainty or sampling error.

    In one study, ALL virgin women going to college in the USA that were sexually active were infected with STD’s within 6 months. This despite them using condoms.

    Due to the nature of women’s anatomy, they are far easier to infect than males so a sexually promiscuous woman who sleeps with many partners greatly increases the chances of her picking up such a hidden disease and becoming infertile. Something to bear in mind, along with the drug resistant strains of those diseases.

    Not something that the women will want to hear, no doubt.

  4. After the first para. of your post an advert popped up.
    It was asking me if I wanted to replace my “old boiler with a condensing new one”
    At first I thought it was your graphic for the post, but I am not so sure now.
    If ever an advert was suited to its context……..

  5. Put simply, having several sexual partners doesn’t in itself devalue a woman

    Ohhhh, yes it does.

    You get so close sometimes, and then I see you instinctually recoil from the crimethink. You don’t even need to know anything about the neuropsychiatry involved or the health risks of female promiscuity to see what’s right in front of you: every single human society prizes female chastity and fidelity above promiscuity. That’s because that single fact about a woman’s prior behaviour serves as a useful proxy indicator for a host of valuable information about her judgement, character, and future life choices. Men the world over didn’t suddenly decide to denigrate loose women Because Patriarchy; “you cain’t turn a ho into a housewife” evolved independently in every society precisely because of hard-won experience with failed attempts by generations of men.

  6. But Daniel, there is a difference between promiscuity and being sexually active with boyfriends. If I was dating a 30-year-old woman and I found out she was a virgin it would give me significant pause.

    Anyway, these days most guys are more interested in how many other women the lady has had sexual experiences with, not how many men.

  7. Naaah…My wife and I were advised (well mostly me) by a marriage counselor, and I’m sure the second one also agreed though don’t specifically recall the second convo, that there were not supposed to be ANY secrets. Neither of us should decieve the other, even unintentionally, about ANYTHING. These were licensed professionals. They went to college and shit. They even had PhD’s. One was even a psychiatrist with a MD. Not dumb dumb dummies.

  8. But Daniel, there is a difference between promiscuity and being sexually active with boyfriends.

    No, there isn’t. If a woman has been with ten men, is it actually any better if that’s a string of transient relationships rather than ten one night stands?

    If I was dating a 30-year-old woman and I found out she was a virgin it would give me significant pause.

    If only because statistically, the odds are overwhelming that she’s lying about it, sure.

    There’s a reason that “save yourself for marriage” is nearly universally a virtue.

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