Survive, rebuild, and…erm…forget it

Via Fay once more, a bizarre article about a lefty “prepper” who is ensuring she’s ready for catastrophes such as zombie attacks, giant earthquakes, and the election of a Republican president. Here’s an accompanying pic:

Both advantages and disadvantages of seeing out a nuclear winter holed up in a bunker with someone like this occur to me, mainly distinguishable by whether she’s alive or dead after Day 1. But she’ll not come alone:

While I was beginning to explore the art of prepping, I met my partner, a fellow anarchist who specializes in constructing urban shelters and creating makeshift weapons out of random finds from the local dumpster.

If you need a club fashioned from a stale baguette, he’s your man.

Ape teaches me how to handle and care for knives and guns, while I teach him how to recognize medicinal herbs in an urban setting, how to preserve food, and how to stitch up a wound.

Once he’s washed his hands, I hope.

Ape and I had sex at an “End of the World” orgy on the night of Trump’s election. The crowd was mostly sex workers and queer folks. None of us wanted to face this election alone, so we got together at a friend’s loft apartment to handle the news as best we could — with food, alcohol and sex.

I have no idea why this is relevant to the story, but research shows that people with blue hair and a history of orgy-attendance insist on telling others about it.

What was normally a group of boisterous party animals started off with us tentatively nibbling at cheese and crackers, whispering to each other in corners, and halfheartedly making out, one eye always on the votes coming in.

People who host orgies provide cheese and crackers? Well, I’ve learned something today.

When it became clear that Trump was going to be our next president, silence descended over the mostly naked crowd. Everyone seemed frozen in place. I felt a sinking in my gut and I knew what we needed to do; my boyfriend and I looked at each other and began to dress without a word.

Making your getting laid dependent on Hillary winning was probably not the smartest move in hindsight. And unsurprisingly:

And a surprising amount of my Burning Man community not only knew a lot about filtering and recycling water or using alternative energy but also seemed to own and use guns

She’s in with the Burning Man crowd, eh? Who would have guessed?

[The author], Kitty Stryker, is an anarchist, a Juggalo, and a street medic working in the East Bay. Her first book, “Ask: Building Consent Culture” was published through Thorntree Press in 2017.

Amusingly, the foreword to her book is written by none other than Laurie Penny; the two met in a fetish club in 2010. Come the Apocalypse, I think I’ll take my chances with the zombies.

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29 thoughts on “Survive, rebuild, and…erm…forget it

  1. You’d think the first lesson she’d have learned about prepping is – cardio.

    Anyone who claims to be a prepper but talks about zombies – is just playing pretend.

  2. Anyone who claims to be a prepper but talks about zombies – is just playing pretend.

    To be fair that was not her as such, just a bunch of kids she was hanging out with discussing prep stuff.

  3. I had a female boss who looked something like the lady in question, as vulgar as street Latin but blindingly intelligent and earning multimegabucks as a result. A new lad started work in IT and Boss Lady announced to us, “I’d pay ten thousand to sleep with him.” I interjected, “I’ll do it for one thousand, on one condition. You don’t get on top.” For some reason, a week or two later my contract was terminated.

  4. Looks like she has been eating her food supplies rather than hoarding it for when the zombies attack. She’s not going to be able to run very far once the Walking Dead come after her.

  5. Sorry, but the image of that ” tentatively nibbling at cheese and crackers” doesn’t really work for me. Ramming ’em down with both hands, possibly…

  6. The depressing thing is that this type of person is in the ascendant. Our society is getting more and more diverse and public consensus on many many things is becoming more and more SJW / fruitloopy in nature. We’re losing the culture wars. Mainly because 90%+ of our political class are in that group. Successful cultures become decadent and then they get eradicated by younger, less complacent, more vital ones. Not necessarily better ones, but more energetic and aggressive.
    Western civilisation is a bit like the panda – in the evolutionary departure lounge. And we’re egging the end on with joyful abandon. I don’t think the SJW types will enjoy what follows at all.

  7. bobby b, way back my company provided security at a few ICP gigs…..I enjoyed it immensely but I did notice the audience did have more than the usual number of wierdos.

  8. If the Zombies *were* coming, she’d be safe without a shelter.

    They eat brains, don’t they?

  9. “a fellow anarchist who specializes in constructing urban shelters and creating makeshift weapons out of random finds from the local dumpster.”

    Come on, most blokes have done this. We were all eleven once.

  10. “The author], Kitty Stryker, is an anarchist, a Juggalo, and a street medic working in the East Bay”

    How do people like this pay the rent? Trust fund, as “zut alors” says above? Or disability benefits, because of her morbid obesity?

  11. People who host orgies provide cheese and crackers? Well, I’ve learned something today.

    Come on, Tim, that’s just being a good host. They’re perverts, not monsters.

    When it became clear that Trump was going to be our next president, silence descended over the mostly naked crowd. Everyone seemed frozen in place. I felt a sinking in my gut

    Well, there’s one thing she’s not in denial about.

    …the foreword to her book is written by none other than Laurie Penny; the two met in a fetish club in 2010.

    Of course they did.

    I feel sorry for men with fetishes: when they imagine themselves being tied up and urinated on, I doubt they’re picturing women like these. But attractive women have better options than debasing themselves in the back room of a pub in a motorway rest area, so the poor lads are stuck with goblins and bridge-trolls… and the perennially-in-need of attention – which must be a problem, because the first rule of fetish club is probably “Don’t talk about fetish club”, and yet, as a wise man once said:

    …people with blue hair and a history of orgy-attendance insist on telling others about it.

    Anyway: orgies, fatties, snacks: here’s something that ties it all together.

  12. Firstly @Matthew McConnagay – excellent linkage!!

    I find myself running out of WTFs to give about these perverts and losers. In a better and brighter world, they’d have been discreetly clubbed to death in early adolescence.

    I am slightly concerned that this minger from the grizzly bear school of prepping claims to be a nurse, just because she has a first aid kit. OTOH, if she gives anyone fatal septicemia, it will be one of her own sort.

  13. people with blue hair and a history of orgy-attendance insist on telling others about it.

    “I’m not ugly! Men have sex with me! They do too

    Patrick, I’ve always maintained that The Walking Dead isn’t fiction, it is allegory.

    All horror is allegory for whatever societal change the zeitgeist is most frightened of at the moment.

    The primary reason for the sudden explosion in the popularity of zombie media of late is that people have noticed things like this.

  14. “Ape is many things I am not — slender where I am curvy”

    Marilyn Monroe, Sophia Loren, Rita Hayworth, these woman were “curvy” sweet cheeks, you on the other hand are obscenely obese.

  15. The photo of her “MEDIC” bag cracked me up. Even if I was dying a slow death in a gutter somewhere I wouldn’t want her or her bag anywhere near me.

  16. The photo of her “MEDIC” bag cracked me up. Even if I was dying a slow death in a gutter somewhere I wouldn’t want her or her bag anywhere near me.

  17. I felt a sinking in my gut and I knew what we needed to do; my boyfriend and I looked at each other and began to dress without a word.

    I’d feel a sinking in my gut if I saw that creature, it naked would induce revulsion and need for brain-bleech.

    Is it Jo Brand’s daughter via a hobbo’s sperm from a dumpster?

  18. @Bloke In Italy on November 7, 2018 at 9:28 am

    +1

    Post should have been:

    NSFW – Survive, rebuild, and…erm…forget it

    and no pic on home page or article: click to see pic in new tab.

  19. Excellent, Tim. Very amusing. I am, though, left wondering what Laurie Penny’s fetish could be…

  20. I am, though, left wondering what Laurie Penny’s fetish could be

    Attention, would be my guess.

  21. “All horror is allegory for whatever societal change the zeitgeist is most frightened of at the moment.”

    I dispute the word “All”. It’s true that a lot of horror is a metaphor for the prevailing fears of the moment. But there is still plenty of horror that addresses the permanent human fears that arise in every time and place, most particularly the fear of our own mortality. Some works address both, and some address one while superficially appearing to be about the other.

    “Something about this screams Trust Fund”

    It’s probably the fact that she seems able to spend so much of her time on frivolous activities without having to do anything that would actually pay the rent. It suggests that she doesn’t actually need to work.

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