Penny Farthing*

Staying on the topic of deranged women in the modern dating scene:

I’m forever grateful that every boyfriend I had at Oxford dumped me. If any of them had asked me to marry them, I probably would have said yes and it would have ruined my life. In an alternate universe somewhere, there are divorce papers with my name on them.

And the fox didn’t want the grapes anyway: they were too sour.

Instead, my first foray into online dating in 2002 changed my relationships, career and world-view. I was 42.

I was completely honest about everything, including my age. To my surprise, I received an avalanche of responses from younger men. I realised I was every young guy’s fantasy – an attractive, high-flying woman, who wasn’t interested in children, marriage, or even a relationship.

Every woman I’ve talked to about online dating has told me they are surprised by the number of young men who wouldn’t mind getting ’round an older woman. This is so common that a lot of women state in their profiles that they’re not interested in younger men. Very few are flattered by this, as they realise all these lads are after is a quick and possibly interesting shag. Little did they know that if they thought such attention was a good thing they could have landed a Telegraph piece.

So began a sexual odyssey with young men aged 19 to 30-odd that would change the course of my life.

I can’t think of anything sadder than having the course of your life determined by meaningless sex with a string of people miles outside your peer group. Even ageing rock stars can claim their womanising is a fringe benefit rather than central to who they are.

I quickly discovered how differently millennial and, to a lesser extent, Gen X men view sex and relationships to us baby boomers.

I discovered this by reading articles and talking to people, but who am I to dispute your research methods?

I want us all to celebrate the messy, awkward, funny, wonderful sex we have in real life, to promote consent, good sexual values and behaviour.

This is like Peter Sutcliffe launching a Safer Streets campaign.

I am my own research lab – I date a lot of younger men simultaneously, though I have an extremely selective three-step process, which men I meet on dating sites need to pass before a date. First, sending me some more pictures beyond those on their profile; secondly, emailing until I can tell we have chemistry; then, speaking on the phone to check the same. They need to be a very nice person.

This is extremely selective in the sense that old oilfield hands only shag locals when on holiday in Thailand.

When we get to the point of intimacy, I am open with them about what I want.

To be fair, they’ve probably figured that out already having found your name and number circulating on a WhatsApp group somewhere.

I’ll happily debunk the myths they’ve learnt from porn about what “good” sex looks like.

Or a good set of teeth.

I know it might change the atmosphere between us, but I think: “I have to do this for every other woman he’s going to sleep with.”

She’s talking as though women in their twenties are completely inexperienced and therefore young men need her expert guidance in order to satisfy them properly. Which leads me to think she doesn’t understand the modern generation as well as she claims.

Even though I date casually, my relationships can often last, off and on, two, five or even 15 years.

That’s a booty call, not a relationship.

Interestingly, though they may go on to date women their own age, when those relationships end, many of them later come back.

For an hour, anyway. The irony is that Millennials stand accused of only being interested in meaningless sex while shunning stable relationships. This woman thinks she’s helping by having meaningless sex with Millennials in the absence of a stable relationship.

(Via a Twitter follower)

*An ancient bike.

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32 thoughts on “Penny Farthing*

  1. I wonder whether any of her student days boyfriends seriously thought of proposing or whether they figured she was a bit too far over in the crazy side of the hot/crazy graph

    Well the good news is that her reproductive equipment has passed its “use before” date so she won’t contributing directly to future generations. I would feel very very sad for any unfortunate offspring

  2. If I had it all to do again, then I would firmly be in the one percenter camp.

    Nubile shiksas with no strings attached, plus humanity as a whole would benefit from me imparting some foundational life wisdom into them whilst I were at it.

  3. Every woman I’ve talked to about online dating has told me they are surprised by the number of young men who wouldn’t mind getting ’round an older woman.

    They clearly haven’t googled ‘MILF’…

  4. I’m forever grateful that every boyfriend I had at Oxford dumped me.

    I’m guessing they’re grateful, too.

    In an alternate universe somewhere, there are divorce papers with my name on them.

    The woman she is now would have divorced them. But she might have turned out quite differently if she had met her future husband at 22 years old, and married him by 25.

  5. “I am my own research lab “, which probably contains more harmful bacteria
    than the CDC has had contact with in the last decade. I wonder if her middle name is Ebola?

  6. Guys 19-30 will screw anything, especially if it’s easy.

    She’s not special.

    I’m sure it’ll be a different tune in 5-10 years after she’s become invisible.

  7. I am always amazed at how many middle aged people display behaviours that I grew out of in my mid-teens. And then how often our MSM celebrate these severe deficiencies of wisdom and maturity rather than chastise them.

  8. I’m willing to bet that she has a box of Seroxat (or similar) in her cupboard.

    I am always amazed at how many middle aged people display behaviours that I grew out of in my mid-teens.

    The whole article is essentially an admission that her behaviour in her forties and fifties has been on the level of a twenty-something.

  9. she might have turned out quite differently if she had met her future husband at 22 years old, and married him by 25.

    Maybe. More likely she’d fleece him 20 years down the line, take his children away and then behave like she did anyway, justifying it as ‘escaping the suffocating confines of marriage’.

    I’m sure it’ll be a different tune in 5-10 years

    Did you see the photo? That song’s on repeat already.

  10. This “Mrs. Robinson” scenario reminds me of the story of the French Duke before the Revolution who called his teenage son into his study one morning.

    “Son, I have seen you eyeing up the young milkmaid.”

    “Yes, Dad”, interjected his son excitedly. “She really is HOT!”.

    The Duke nodded sagely, and said: “Indeed she is, son. But I want you to forget about her. Instead, put on your best clothes, take our best stallion, ride across the valley to the Count’s chateau, and spend the day with the Countess. The Count has been out of the country for several months, and she is feeling lonely”.

    “But Dad”, the son remonstrated. “The Countess is ANCIENT! She must be at least 35 years old!”

    The Duke replied, “I will give you 3 good reasons why you should prefer the company of an older woman. First, older women are so much more discreet. If you have a roll in the hay with that teenage milkmaid, how long will it be before she has told everyone on the estate about it?”

    The son nodded. “You have a good point there, Father. But even so, that milkmaid is so HOT!”

    “Second, older women are so much more experienced. That means more pleasure for you.”

    The son perked up. “That is a very persuasive argument, Father. Now you are talking my language! You have convinced me. I will go and visit the Countess”.

    As the son turned to leave the Duke’s study, he stopped. “Father, you said there were 3 good reasons for preferring older women. What is the third reason?”

    “Because older women are so very, very grateful”.

  11. Strictly speaking a booty-call is just a particular type of relationship, in the same way that “best mate”, “work colleague”, “drinking partner”, “just a letter every Christmas” are. If you’re interacting with someone, you have some kind of relationship with them, by definition. But then:

    “I realised I was every young guy’s fantasy – an attractive, high-flying woman, who wasn’t interested in children, marriage, or even a relationship.

    “Even though I date casually, my relationships can often last, off and on, two, five or even 15 years.”

    So she isn’t being consistent with her usage of the word, or maybe what she wants, either.

  12. There was a bit of publicity about her a couple of years ago. She did a TED talk and launched a website about sex.

    Remember TED talks? Ten minutes of your life you’ll never get back with rarely a single useful piece of knowledge imparted.

  13. To be fair, hot men in her age group are simply not available. They’re all chasing women born closer to 1990 than to 1960.

    Perhaps sex is not a very good substitute for love, but at the time you can’t tell the difference.

  14. Bloody Hell. Is this really the Telegraph? Poor old Bill Deedes must be doing about 5000 rpm.

  15. 42 today is baby boomer generation???

    That was her age back in 2002. Pretty sad that she’s been knocking about the online dating scene for that long.

    She can’t be getting much action these days – at least not from young men of a calibre she feels entitled to. Regret is surely setting in, but rather than come to terms with that, she wants to convince herself, and others, that it was the best thing she ever did.
    So sad.

  16. “Remember TED talks? Ten minutes of your life you’ll never get back with rarely a single useful piece of knowledge imparted.”

    Learning about Jonathan Haidt was worth the time, but otherwise, meh.

  17. @Gavin Longmuir

    4. “Son’ I’m banging the hot milkmaid”.

    “Remember TED talks? Ten minutes of your life you’ll never get back with rarely a single useful piece of knowledge imparted.”

    There were some good ones in the early days. I think the first I watched was Hans Rosling, but that must be a good 10 to 15 years ago.

  18. @MvR – “To be fair, hot men in her age group are simply not available. They’re all chasing women born closer to 1990 than to 1960.”

    I would say younger than that, more like the early noughties, it’s a simple case of evolutionary survival of the fittest and it only works one way. Females have a limited window of fertility, males to fulfil themselves and ensure that the species survives, must take them during this relatively short space in time, females have no further evolutionary purpose other than to conceive them, birth them and nurse them after that.

    A nubile woman in fertility is proven to be at their most sexually attractive peak to a male in terms of looks and the sexual chemistry that are they are producing, lush lips, lustrous hairs, slim like and young. Males are hardwired to take women at this stage, they have no evolutionary drive to take an infertile woman, this would spell an end and goes against their ultimate objective on earth which is to reproduce.

    This does not apply equally to females, as males remain infertile up until they die. Therefore, a lot of women are attracted to older males that have been relatively successful in life. An older male can provide a young fertile female, with not only a mating partner which they are also hard wired to obtain, but also a partner that can provide them greater security and shelter in life, during childbirth and motherhood.

    Males shagging second hand, crusty old boilers, is not something that advances humankind and in its purest form is an extinctive practice,
    which is why the laws of evolution stops folk like that from reproducing in the first place. Fair enough if you have already done your bit and it’s only a bit of rumpy pumpy later on in life, but it is unsustainable if that is your base primordial instinct as a young male.

    ………………………………………………………………………………………………

    Evolutionary Psychology

    https://books.google.com.au/books?id=6a0qAgAAQBAJ&pg=PA107&lpg=PA107&dq=psychology+why+women+prefer+older+men&source=bl&ots=y7TYlU-x1q&sig=acFoNYB01AJlL2jGokVjaUmqA3w&hl=en&sa=X&ei=vMU-Vf3zOtOmyASngYGgDw&redir_esc=y#v=onepage&q=psychology%20why%20women%20prefer%20older%20men&f=false

  19. Was it Woody Allen who said “sex without love is an empty and meaningless experience. Still, as empty and meaningless experiences go, it’s one of the best “.

  20. O/T, but can anyone explain to me the attraction of Miley Cyrus? Can’t be her singing. She can’t sing. She always looks to me like a slightly uprated supermarket checkout girl with her Saturday nite slap on. I can see the attraction to teenage girls. She’s sort them as they see themselves, next year when the dental braces come off. But do blokes really fancy her? Seems rather pathetic that’s as high as they’d set their sights.

  21. “Did you see the photo? That song’s on repeat already.”

    I just did. Sweet jesus you can’t unsee that.

    Nothing sadder than an old slut, except maybe an old queer.

  22. Her apartment is moderately famous apparently. You can see why it was used for rap videos, although whether it was the “Shanghai nightclub” she was aiming for I wouldn’t know.

    In the end she is just the female equivalent of a creepy old bastard chatting up girls in their 20s convinced they’ve still got it. Bit sad really.

  23. Pingback: Word from the Dark Side – civil war and everyone calm down | SovietMen

  24. “I’m forever grateful that every boyfriend I had at Oxford dumped me. ”

    Imagine writing that sentence.

    Now imagine writing it as the intro to a piece where you go on to state that you are now ‘living the dream’, and implying that you were right all the time, and now you are a whole, functional adult.

    Because you are having sex with a load of random blokes.

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