Staying on the topic of deranged women in the modern dating scene:
I’m forever grateful that every boyfriend I had at Oxford dumped me. If any of them had asked me to marry them, I probably would have said yes and it would have ruined my life. In an alternate universe somewhere, there are divorce papers with my name on them.
And the fox didn’t want the grapes anyway: they were too sour.
Instead, my first foray into online dating in 2002 changed my relationships, career and world-view. I was 42.
I was completely honest about everything, including my age. To my surprise, I received an avalanche of responses from younger men. I realised I was every young guy’s fantasy – an attractive, high-flying woman, who wasn’t interested in children, marriage, or even a relationship.
Every woman I’ve talked to about online dating has told me they are surprised by the number of young men who wouldn’t mind getting ’round an older woman. This is so common that a lot of women state in their profiles that they’re not interested in younger men. Very few are flattered by this, as they realise all these lads are after is a quick and possibly interesting shag. Little did they know that if they thought such attention was a good thing they could have landed a Telegraph piece.
So began a sexual odyssey with young men aged 19 to 30-odd that would change the course of my life.
I can’t think of anything sadder than having the course of your life determined by meaningless sex with a string of people miles outside your peer group. Even ageing rock stars can claim their womanising is a fringe benefit rather than central to who they are.
I quickly discovered how differently millennial and, to a lesser extent, Gen X men view sex and relationships to us baby boomers.
I discovered this by reading articles and talking to people, but who am I to dispute your research methods?
I want us all to celebrate the messy, awkward, funny, wonderful sex we have in real life, to promote consent, good sexual values and behaviour.
This is like Peter Sutcliffe launching a Safer Streets campaign.
I am my own research lab – I date a lot of younger men simultaneously, though I have an extremely selective three-step process, which men I meet on dating sites need to pass before a date. First, sending me some more pictures beyond those on their profile; secondly, emailing until I can tell we have chemistry; then, speaking on the phone to check the same. They need to be a very nice person.
This is extremely selective in the sense that old oilfield hands only shag locals when on holiday in Thailand.
When we get to the point of intimacy, I am open with them about what I want.
To be fair, they’ve probably figured that out already having found your name and number circulating on a WhatsApp group somewhere.
I’ll happily debunk the myths they’ve learnt from porn about what “good” sex looks like.
Or a good set of teeth.
I know it might change the atmosphere between us, but I think: “I have to do this for every other woman he’s going to sleep with.”
She’s talking as though women in their twenties are completely inexperienced and therefore young men need her expert guidance in order to satisfy them properly. Which leads me to think she doesn’t understand the modern generation as well as she claims.
Even though I date casually, my relationships can often last, off and on, two, five or even 15 years.
That’s a booty call, not a relationship.
Interestingly, though they may go on to date women their own age, when those relationships end, many of them later come back.
For an hour, anyway. The irony is that Millennials stand accused of only being interested in meaningless sex while shunning stable relationships. This woman thinks she’s helping by having meaningless sex with Millennials in the absence of a stable relationship.
(Via a Twitter follower)
*An ancient bike.