Gangsta Rat

Even back when I was a student I didn’t know who half the contemporary music stars were; nowadays I barely know any of them. For instance:

Rapper Tekashi 6ix9ine appears on the verge of receiving a prison sentence that is significantly less than the minimum term he would have received after pleading guilty to a litany of crimes, though he may need witness protection.

The singer signed a plea deal with federal prosecutors in Manhattan whereby he admitted to various crimes, including racketeering, conspiracy, weapons possession, drug trafficking, and others.

He sounds a little more full-on than S Club 7.

In 2015, he was sentenced to probation for appearing in a video in which a 13-year-old girl performed a sex act on another man.

Appearing in child porn videos doesn’t seem to harm your career if you’re a rapper.

Federal prosecutors say that the information Tekashi has given them may require that he be placed under witness protection since he is believed to have implicated individuals involved in extremely violent crimes.

Witness protection? So they’re gonna send this guy to Buttfuxville, Nebraska (Pop. 1,357) and expect him to blend in.Maybe he can get a job in a nursing home?


7 thoughts on “Gangsta Rat

  1. Just before Christmas I was surprised to find via the BBC…

    … that J. Hus is a rapper now!

    Hangin’ wit’ ma homies in Bohemia
    protesting’ priests molestin’ peeps by keeping back indulgences
    ’til the bulgin’ pocketses
    show ecclesiastical predation will continue through a later date
    when Wenceslas will gasp his last
    hearin’ my ites defenestrate

  2. “Maybe he can get a job in a nursing home?”

    Here’s an interesting sociological observation from closer to home. A friend lives in Winchester (Hants) near the prison and the big general hospital. He notes that thirty years ago, the buses disgorged two classes of young women. One group were demure looking, with clumpy shoes, neatly tied-back hair, who quietly chatted as they walked along. Nurses going to and from their shift at the hospital. The other group were hard-faced, dressed in revealing slutty clothes, hair dyed all colours but favouring brassy blonde, some were obviously and crudely tattooed, and they swaggered along staring down passers-by. They were going to the prison to visit their menfolk.

    Today, the two groups have converged so they nearly all look like the latter group. Nurses now look like robbers’ playmates.

  3. It says something that this man’s music career post-dates him being prosecuted for sexually molesting a child on video.

    Still, what about that Ryan Adams, eh?

  4. The kid’s pretty dim, or his lawyer is shit. If you’re going to rat the last thing you want is to have it revealed in open court.

  5. ‘I don’t like crooks. And if I did ’em, I wouldn’t like crooks who were stool pigeons. And if I did like crooks who were stool pigeons, I still wouldn’t like you!’

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