Highest standards of quality and professionalism

An unsolicited email I received from a Dubai-based recruiter over the weekend speaks volumes about HR standards in the modern oil industry:

Dear Sir,

Greetings,

We are a human resource staffing agency providing highest standards of quality and professionalism. We pride ourselves on our efficient, professional and yet personal services both to our clients and applicants and our ability to supply the right staff complements the recruitment needs of our esteemed clients.
As per our discussion, please find below details:
Company: Qatar Petroleum
Position: Sr. Project Engineer
Location: Qatar
Status: Family Status

Because nothing says “personal service” like a mass-mailing where they don’t even bother to use your name. And highest standards of professionalism? Let’s see.

Interviews are at London, between 9th to 13th December, 2018.

Which is in 2-3 weeks’ time. Rather short notice for an international interview, no?

Please send us your updated CV in MS Word Format and the details below at the earliest.

PLEASE PROVIDE US WITH FOLLOWING DETAILS
Total experience:
Reporting to:
Current salary in USD per month (After Tax): (Basic)
Other Benefits:
Current salary in USD per month (After Tax): (Basic)
Notice period:
Date of birth:
Contact no:
Current Location:
Alternate Email:
Nationality:
Education: Degree / Completion year:

Because I can’t be bothered to take certain details from your CV, I’ll ask you to list them separately. And I’ll twice ask you your current salary even though, quite frankly, it’s none of my f*cking business.

Here’s a snapshot of the job description:

It’s well formatted, isn’t it? And this made me chuckle:

Good luck with that. For quite some time now, oil and gas recruitment has been farmed out to increasingly shoddier manpower agencies engaged in a race to the bottom. The above is typical, and indicative of the standards one finds across much of the industry. You can imagine the sort of candidate they’ll get.

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12 thoughts on “Highest standards of quality and professionalism

  1. Speaking of professionalism, the Police, who just last week were cursing the public for not risking their necks to help bluebottles in trouble , have this week gone back to their old ways in dealing with those ordinary members of the public they have no case against but don’t like anyway. For personal reasons.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Id_JSgSlSL8&t=6s

    Perhaps they’d do better in the oil industry?

  2. If you were looking for something like that, which I know your note, then I would send him/her back your CV and asking price and tell him its so high because you are going on single status and for him to give you a bell if they are interested. It would take about two minutes to do, nothing ventured nothing gained. Not sure that I would recommend QP, from what I know about them.

    Pretty chuffed that I managed to be excused from attending meetings in Doha this week as I am flat out getting ready for the holiday season down under.

    I am finding it extremely difficult to recruit engineers in Australia right now, asking prices are way up and they don’t stay on the market for long either.

  3. Not that any woman in her right mind would apply for a job like this in Qatar – but I feel there’s a lawsuit waiting for this recruiter in the UK as they have specified the successful candidate is a ‘him’.

  4. I get unsolicited emails like this a lot. I assume they are phishing attempts or simply harvesting CVs.

    Presumably there’s several websites you’d go to when you’re looking for a new gig? The chances of an “active” candidate receiving an email with a suitably matching role description must be close to zero.

  5. “Pretty chuffed that I managed to be excused from attending meetings in Doha this week as I am flat out getting ready for the holiday season down under.”

    Shame. Mrs. Bardon had already SMSd me to let me know you’d replenished the gin in the drinks cabinet.

  6. Further to your previous post on this subject (I’m jst catching up on my reading), I’m currently jobhunting and fidn it annoying how many places want a CV and application form filled in, I don’t want to waste the time copying and pasting the data over. Whats worse is then the add says ‘send in CV and covering letter’ and they reply saying ‘please now fill in the attached application.’

    The other thing that annoys me is places asking for ridiculous amounts of documentation- one form I downloaded today asks for ‘Statements of service’ from all relevent employers! Who has these to hand? And you just know they would’nt be willing to provide you with one when you leave either.

  7. Please send us your updated CV in MS Word Format

    Translated: you must purchase Microsoft Office before you may apply. Idiots.

  8. Demanding to know your current salary is common in the Middle East during the recruitment process. If you refuse, the all powerful HR department throw your application in the bin no matter how much the hiring managers may want you.

    If you tell them you are currently on x per month and are subsequently offered a position with them, you have to provide payslips to prove it or the offer is withdrawn.

    Of course, you know to avoid these places like the plague!

  9. In the three years I worked in Qatar, I never encountered a Qatari who wanted mentoring. In fact, the only working Qataris I ever saw were the ones leaving the government offices opposite Doha City Mall in their 4x4s, on their way home after the long working day that ended at 1pm

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