Via reader Robert Harries, the world’s most pathetic male has written to The Guardian asking for advice:
My girlfriend and I have been together for more than a year. She told me that she wants a polysexual relationship because she feels something is missing from ours. Every time I say that I don’t want this, she gets upset. I love her and she loves me, but she also loves another person and he loves her back. She said that the only reason she loves this other person is because he reminds her of me. I want it to just be her and me. What should I/we do?
No doubt his girlfriend has been reading endless media articles promoting polyamory, but tragically neither discovered this blog. The time he spent writing his letter should have been used to end the relationship; even The Guardian writer can see that:
Tell her to make up her mind. She may be genuinely polyamorous, but you clearly are not – so this situation is untenable.
It would be better to be clear about this now and avoid prolonged pain. Give her a choice: either monogamy with you or both of you move on.
I’d not be at all surprised if this whole thing is just a shit-test which the boyfriend has failed miserably. He’s probably wetter than a weekend in Wales and she’s been trying everything she can to get him to show some balls. Or maybe he’s funding her lifestyle in some way and she doesn’t want to cut him out of her life? Either way the contempt she has for him is extraordinary; I’d be willing to bet he’s not had sex in six months, whereas she’s getting plenty, including while he was writing the letter.
The comments under the article are worth reading, and give me some hope that testosterone still lingers among British men, even those who read The Guardian.