Polyfuckery

Via reader Robert Harries, the world’s most pathetic male has written to The Guardian asking for advice:

My girlfriend and I have been together for more than a year. She told me that she wants a polysexual relationship because she feels something is missing from ours. Every time I say that I don’t want this, she gets upset. I love her and she loves me, but she also loves another person and he loves her back. She said that the only reason she loves this other person is because he reminds her of me. I want it to just be her and me​. ​What should I/we do?

No doubt his girlfriend has been reading endless media articles promoting polyamory, but tragically neither discovered this blog. The time he spent writing his letter should have been used to end the relationship; even The Guardian writer can see that:

Tell her to make up her mind. She may be genuinely polyamorous, but you clearly are not – so this situation is untenable.

It would be better to be clear about this now and avoid prolonged pain. Give her a choice: either monogamy with you or both of you move on.

I’d not be at all surprised if this whole thing is just a shit-test which the boyfriend has failed miserably. He’s probably wetter than a weekend in Wales and she’s been trying everything she can to get him to show some balls. Or maybe  he’s funding her lifestyle in some way and she doesn’t want to cut him out of her life? Either way the contempt she has for him is extraordinary; I’d be willing to bet he’s not had sex in six months, whereas she’s getting plenty, including while he was writing the letter.

The comments under the article are worth reading, and give me some hope that testosterone still lingers among British men, even those who read The Guardian.

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13 thoughts on “Polyfuckery

  1. She said that the only reason she loves this other person is because he reminds her of me

    Is this meant to be humourous or is she thinking of François Mauriac: “J’aime tellement l’Allemagne que je suis ravi qu’il y en ait deux”?

  2. Say, “Thank Christ you said it first. I was getting bored of you as well but I didn’t know how to tell you.”

  3. A thought – possibly original (well, it is to me) – has just popped into my head regarding this polyamory / polysexual stuff that’s going on.

    It seems to have coincided with, and is a ‘thing’ for the snowflake generation (I know, not exclusively).

    It does seem to me that snowflakes generally do not like confrontation, or argument. Roué le Jour’s comment suddenly made the following thought pop into my head: perhaps polyamory is a way for snowflakes to (temporarily, anyway) avoid that inevitable confrontation when they do find their partner boring enough to start looking elsewhere. Just dress it up as a ‘lifestyle choice’, and then they’re effectively pushing the partner into making the ‘sod this, I’m off’ decision. Or not (if they too are a snowflake, which they probably are).

  4. “She said that the only reason she loves this other person is because he reminds her of wild, dirty, and rough sex.”

    Now if she’d said that the ‘man’ would have a good clue what to do about this.

  5. The Guardian writer:

    “She may be genuinely polyamorous”

    as opposed to, say, someone who just likes sex with different people, and is at a bit of an impasse in a relationship.

    Stand by for “genuinely polyamorous” to become one of the new protected characteristics. It’s got to be genuine, mind!

  6. It does seem to me that snowflakes generally do not like confrontation, or argument.

    Indeed they don’t; and in this case I suspect she wants out of the relationship but doesn’t want to have to actually end it or be seen as a bit of a bitch.

  7. Stand by for “genuinely polyamorous” to become one of the new protected characteristics.

    I should start an accreditation program!

  8. There’s a scene in Sexy Beast where the gangster character played by Ben Kingsley is persuaded to leave Spain without dragging Ray Winstone’s character out of retirement.

    He sits on the plane before take off going through the previous evening’s events in his head, clearly becoming increasingly angrier at himself.

    I wonder how far along that mental process the letter writer was when he pressed “send”?

  9. perhaps polyamory is a way for snowflakes to (temporarily, anyway) avoid that inevitable confrontation when they do find their partner boring enough to start looking elsewhere. Just dress it up as a ‘lifestyle choice’, and then they’re effectively pushing the partner into making the ‘sod this, I’m off’ decision.

    Nothing new under the sun. This is a classic female “vine swing” (attempting to switch from one male provider to another without breaking the earlier relationship since she needs it if the change is unsuccessful)

    If “new guy” proves he’s willing to commit (at least at some level), then she will just go full no contact to avoid a confrontational ending of the original relationship.

    As risk management goes, it’s a useful tactic, as far as relationships go it’s a shitty behaviour from a shitty person.

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