Polyamory, Manchester Style

A reader alerts me to this story:

Meet the 44-year-old therapist who has a husband, a fiancé and two boyfriends.

Mary Crumpton, from Chorlton, is speaking publicly about her relationships in the hope of allowing others to understand people who follow the practice polyamory.

Polyamory, as we are often told, is perfectly normal.

Mary, who became interested in polyamory when she was 29, has a husband, Tim, 43, a fiancé, John, 53, and two boyfriends – Michael, 63, and James, 73. She lives with Tim and John and the other two men live nearby.

Seventy-three!! How the hell does a man that age get into polyamory?

Still, it’s up to them, and if they’re happy, why not? There don’t appear to be any children involved, and unlike most profiles of polyamorists they don’t seem batshit insane, nor is there one partner who is obviously suicidal. Despite the best efforts of the media, I’m still not convinced it will ever be seen as normal, though: it’s a practice which seems only to attract a certain type of person.

My husband Tim and I share an enthusiasm for environmentalism and all that entails, like electric cars, and veganism.

I’m just disappointed we didn’t get to see Grandpa. Perhaps the tweed distracted from the urban-hip look?

Of course, all of that is possible in monogamous relationships, and I am not suggesting polyamory is in any way better, just different. But it works well for me personally.

Good for her.

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34 thoughts on “Polyamory, Manchester Style

  1. That picture. Shudder.
    Typical vegan. Not content with making sure that we all know she’s a vegan we now have to know exactly how many aged men she’s boffing, too. There’s been some chat about this on the Chorlton Facebook page this week, I can tell you.

  2. Seventy-three!! How the hell does a man that age get into polyamory?

    He’s probably glad to only have to manage it once a fortnight…

  3. The rational side of me says much the same as you Tim. She makes no claim that her way of life is better, nor (unless you count the article itself) is she proselytising for polyamory, so fair enough.

    However, the overwhelming reaction is: WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK!

    Fortunately for us all they seem unlikely to breed, as that might wrench human evolution into sharp reverse.

  4. With the first flush of youth a distant memory and the patina of age becoming ever more lustrous, it’s a comfort to know that there may still be new experiences in store before the Grim One calls to collect his due.

  5. Henry, Henry

    You believed me? Nah, you’re pulling my leg too!

    Bargepole, not even with a bargepole…. And as to sharing? Well, if she were a young MIchele Pfeiffer…. and I happened to be passing…

  6. There is something faintly desperate about those two males, who I suspect like electric cars mostly because it means they can get a bonk every so often. As I am not that bothered about them I suppose that excludes me from their little Menagerie.

    Mind you, it all takes place in Chorlton-Cum-Hardly

  7. My husband Tim and I share an enthusiasm for environmentalism and all that entails, like electric cars, and veganism.
    I am Joe’s total lack of surprise.

  8. This deserves a wider audience. Maybe we can get Attenborough to do the voice-over?

  9. Vegan, environmentalist, polyamorist. I’d lay odds of 1/100 they are Remainers, republicans, hostile to smoking anywhere, pro-open borders.

  10. There was a vegan lady on Jeremy Vine yesterday who said she had type 2 diabetes and I wondered how a vegan could ever get fat. I suppose it must be a diet of chip butties and jam doughnuts

  11. They’d have to turn the light off during.

    Otherwise they’d burn their arse on the bulb.

  12. they don’t seem batshit insane, nor is there one partner who is obviously suicidal

    Waaaaaait for it.

  13. Frying oil is a vegetable, or at least came from one.

    And she’s a two bagger.

  14. “There was a vegan lady on Jeremy Vine yesterday who said she had type 2 diabetes and I wondered how a vegan could ever get fat.”

    You don’t have to be fat, one of the many myths circulated to make the 90% of people who aren’t diabetic feel superior to the 10% who are.

    Being vegan as a diabetic must be, er, interesting.

  15. If you know Chorlton, you will know just how Chorlton this is. A perfect example of Poe’s law.

  16. “How the hell does a man that age get into polyamory?”

    She’s 29. Ugly, yes, but have you ever seen a 73 year old woman?

  17. Isn’t Joan Collins about that age?

    I’m not saying I would, but if it was Joan or… That… I’d not have to think that long about it.

  18. There’s been some chat about this on the Chorlton Facebook page this week, I can tell you.

    Ahahahaha! I forgot this is your neck of the woods!

  19. The only thing putting me off is the blue hair.

    Polyamory and purple, pink, green, or blue hair go together like bucket and spade.

  20. If you know Chorlton, you will know just how Chorlton this is.

    I used to know, then I forgot. This has just reminded me.

  21. Would this sort of thing be even more rare than it currently is if prostitution were legal? Please, sexbot singularity, come forth and save these poor souls!

  22. I understand the theory of how she has a husband and boyfriends…but a fiancé? Do they expect the law against polyandry to be repealed any time soon? What is the point? What does it even mean? Is it a signal to the husband that when he carks it, a successor is already lined up? Or is the status of a fiancé in this arrangement meant to signal he’s better than a boyfriend but not as good as a husband? That’s a discrete bit of fuck-upness right there in a wider sorry tale.

  23. All I can think is that she must cook a superb breakfast. Otherwise there isn’t anything else that would attract me. I couldn’t raise the enthusiasm … Ahem!

  24. Maybe its less about polygamy and more about 4 guys trying to avoid er bedroom duties and maintain a life style.

    I also like the fact she a therapist. Probably very successful after 2 minutes reading about her I need one. I person she could make a fortune if she can get paid for refereals.

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