Barely a week seems to go by without another polyamory puff-piece turning up in our media. Reader Robert Harries alerts me to this one from the BBC:
Noni is polyamorous – she has two boyfriends and is committed to them both equally.
The 23-year-old, who lives in North Berwick, says she felt trapped and claustrophobic in monogamous relationships, no matter how much in love she was.
Readers will be astonished to learn one of Noni’s boyfriends has a tangled beard and ponytail.
She tells the BBC Scotland documentary Love Unlimited: “There is nothing wrong with one partner.
“I just don’t see why I should artificially limit the amount of love that I put out into the world.
“I’m greedy. I like people liking me.”
Polyamorists have the annoying habit of assuming normal people have never considered the possibility of having sex with multiple people at the same time. So wrapped up in their own sense of uniqueness it’s never occurred to them that almost everyone considers this, but prefers the benefits an exclusive, monogamous sexual relationship brings.
Although she is only 23, Noni insists that polyamory is a lifestyle choice she intends to continue and does not think it is incompatible with raising a family.
Oh yeah? In all my writings on polyamory I’ve never once heard a quote from a sane, functioning adult who was raised in a polyamorous relationship. The only ones we hear from are those whose own wishes appear to come before anything else.
She says: “I know people who are polyamorous and have children.
I knew hookers who had children, too.
“There is an assumption that polyamory is an overtly sexual thing which it does not have to be. You don’t have to have an orgy house.”
It doesn’t have to be, but it usually is because it’s the sleeping arrangements which define a polyamorous relationship. However she goes about it, her kid is going to have to process its mother disappearing frequently to be with her other partner, or the father disappearing frequently to make space for the other man. How is either good for the kid?
“It is really outdated to think a child needs one mother and one father.”
This is true, provided nobody really cares what sort of adult the child becomes and there is a healthy welfare system in place.
Noni says polyamory is not actually new but it is still taboo, though that could be changing.
That’s certainly what those who commission these articles are hoping, at any rate.
“People have been practising polyamory for as long as people have existed,” she says.
Yes, it was called “shagging around”, or even “dating”.
“I would not say we are blazing a trail but we are definitely creating an environment that allows for a healthy community.”
As Wikipedia would say: citation needed.
These articles are seemingly endless. There’s an agenda here, isn’t there?