Men might want older women, but not for these reasons

Via a polyamorous community on Twitter I found this article on why younger men love older women. Now before I begin, there’s nothing wrong with a guy dating a woman a few years older than him and the older he gets, the less odd this becomes, i.e. a 40 year old dating a 43 year old is a bit different from a 16 year old dating a 19 year old. And while I really don’t care if Macron marries someone his mother’s age, let’s not pretend it’s very common. Here goes:

Confidence: The most appealing trait in anyone is self-confidence. Many older women have developed their own sense of style, and after years of growth both mentally and physically they’re comfortable in their own skin.

Firstly, this isn’t true. There are plenty of middle-aged women out there who are emotional wrecks, endlessly seeking validation in one form or another. Secondly, of those that are confident, many express it by being a complete ball-breaking bitch. Hardly what men are looking for, is it?

Frequently she’s financially independent and streetwise.

Women who date much younger men are streetwise, eh? And often they’re financially independent because they’ve cleaned out some poor sod in a divorce.

Younger men want to be with her because of the positive energy she emits.

Unlike twenty-two year old women who are just down on everything, I suppose.

Her self-assurance will have a reciprocal effect on the man too. He’ll gain maturity by being in the relationship. This will help build his character and make him feel good about himself.

It sounds as though sonny-boy is missing his mother.

Knowledge about sex and life. Older women have years of sexual experience with men of all ages. She’s had a lot of practice whether it was with multiple partners or one man. Being with a woman who can teach the younger guy a few new tricks is extremely alluring, especially to those who haven’t had many partners or experiences.

Sorry, is he after a girlfriend or a whore for the night? It is a myth that men are impressed by women who are filthy in bed in the early stages of a relationship. Contrary to the opinions of the buffoon writing this piece, having had “practice with multiple partners” is generally not considered an attractive quality in a woman. What men want is a woman who has some experience, but wants to learn more – with him. If a man can find a woman who is fairly innocent and train her up to be a rampaging slut in the bedroom but only with him – that’s marriage material.

The older woman knows her own body and what turns her on. She has the owner’s manual and shares it willingly with her partners. She’s self-aware and knows what she wants in and out of the bedroom.

Because mutual sexual explorations are so boring, aren’t they? Better to find a woman who knows exactly what she wants – and doesn’t want to do.

No game playing. Older women are done playing games. They are straight shooters and will be honest about what they want in the relationship and what they won’t accept.

Which is why they’re still single and trawling the internet for younger men.

 They will demand respect from the younger man because they respect themselves.

Nothing says a woman respects herself more than demanding respect from a lover half her age.

Typically the younger guy won’t need to worry about pregnancy prevention since the older woman will be equally concerned having already had her own children.

Leaving aside that she’s also probably incapable now anyway, I find that she has children of her own amusing. I wonder what they think of ma’s new boyfriend?

Communication. A younger less experienced woman may worry that if she shares her desires, she may lose the man. She may be embarrassed to tell a guy what turns her on sexually.

Most guys have a lot of fun finding this out rather than waiting to be told.

The older woman won’t shy away from offering advice on personal hygiene. She’ll encourage him to dress like a man – not a boy. This will spill over into other areas of his life, as he gets encouragement from people about his “new look.”

Handy for those men who are used to their mothers dressing them, I suppose.

The younger man can be free to be himself with an older woman. He won’t need to impress her with a fake bravado the way he might think a younger woman would expect. He’s with the older woman for companionship and sex without worrying that she wants something more – like marriage.

Oh yeah? What’s the woman’s view on this?

He feels nurtured and cared for by her, and doesn’t feel the demands of taking care of the younger more “needy” girl.

Some Oedipus stuff going on here, isn’t there?

He can be with her when he wants and their aren’t any obligations other than to have fun. Once the relationship is over, the resulting friendship may continue to last throughout their lifetimes.

Oh, I bet Mrs Robinson just loves that! “Sorry love, I’m here just to have fun (and for you to do my laundry), but we can be friends when it’s over!” A minute ago we were told she respects herself.

The younger guy may receive a great ego boost knowing that a hot older woman finds him desirable.

As a substitute for hot young women finding him desirable? Erm, no.

The older woman will come to expect a certain amount of emotional maturity, which if achieved, will have a great effect on the younger man’s confidence with all women.

I doubt it: he’s spent the whole time being spoon-fed in the bedroom and told how to dress.

His friends may originally question the relationship but ultimately envy him.

This may be true, but is dependent on his sharing the sex stories and the arrangement being very short-lived. Meaning a month, tops.

Some guys may end up finding their life partner in the older woman, whereas others may move on to be with women their own age or younger.

Leaving the older woman to die alone with her cats. Funny that these financially secure, confident, worldly-wise older women won’t be able to see a flaky younger man coming, isn’t it?

Naturally, this was written by an older woman, one who clearly hasn’t got a clue about men. In her defence she is a widow, so didn’t choose to be in this situation.

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20 thoughts on “Men might want older women, but not for these reasons

  1. “Firstly, this isn’t true. There are plenty of middle-aged women out there who are emotional wrecks, endlessly seeking validation in one form or another. Secondly, of those that are confident, many express it by being a complete ball-breaking bitch. Hardly what men are looking for, is it?”

    True, but the ones men chase are often the “together” ones. I used to really fancy an older woman. Good body, hot, but also really mentally switched on. I went off her when I realised that she was commitment-phobic.

  2. Tim
    I can’t help noticing that your recent posts getting more family / sex orientated. Maybe you and the missus are trying for one or two, I hope. It would improve the gene pool.
    Be careful- Kids are bloody expensive so forget the yacht. OTOH you get to shout louder without the neighbours calling the cops.

  3. Why does this read like a Praying Mantis how-to story? Suck the life out of some poor bastard, divorce him and take his money. Move on to some younger guy who doesn’t know better yet and suck the life out of him. Rinse and repeat is the New Woman’s motto.

    Now I’m not much for government warnings, if someone is going to drink their shampoo, nothing will help. But, these women need a warning label tattooed on them that no guy can miss.

  4. The article is pure projection – the writer’s solipsism leads her to believe that what she finds attractive = what everyone finds attractive.

    “Confidence: The most appealing trait in anyone is self-confidence. Many older women have developed their own sense of style, and after years of growth both mentally and physically they’re comfortable in their own skin.”

    Women find confidence attractive in men. Men aren’t so keen on sassiness / general ball-busting traits in women.

    “Frequently she’s financially independent and streetwise.”

    This is relevant to a woman’s attractiveness how? I’d actually suggest the inverse is true.

    And so on – excellent fisking as always Tim.

    You have to shake your head at how delusional some people are. I remember reading an interview with Sinead O’Connor a few years back where she bemoaned her lack of suitors despite being rich & famous – as if a man would find an otherwise haggard old bint attractive if she had fame and wealth! Female solipsism leads them to think how they see the world is the way the world is for everyone.

  5. The article is based on an entirely mistaken understanding of the respective SMV’s of aging men and women.

  6. The desperation in this article is palpable, it’s like she is trying to convince herself, let alone everyone else. “It WILL happen, dear!”

    Typically the younger guy won’t need to worry about pregnancy prevention since the older woman will be equally concerned having already had her own children.

    This hypothetical woman got older with every paragraph. I was expecting the next paragraph to be something like:

    Typically the younger guy will move into a larger property as the older woman’s children will have grown up and left home

    And then

    The younger guy has the advantage of getting to know the older woman better by mixing with her sons, who will be the same age, if not older, than the older guy

  7. Just for a moment, can we reflect on what the piece would look like were it written from the perspective of an older man persuading younger women to enter into a relationship?

    “His self-assurance will have a reciprocal effect on the girl too. She’ll gain maturity by being in the relationship. This will help build her character and make her feel good about herself.”

    “The younger girl may receive a great ego boost knowing that a hot older man finds her desirable.”

    “He will demand respect from the younger woman because he respects himself.”

    Not sure the Graun would carry an article with those paragraphs in it, would it?

  8. Don’t confuse a temporary resting place for a willy as being a permanent addition to life.

  9. The article is pure projection – the writer’s solipsism leads her to believe that what she finds attractive = what everyone finds attractive.

    Indeed, she appears to have looked at what makes an older man attractive to younger women and simply reversed the sexes. I suppose this is what happens when you buy into the feminist drivel that the only differences between men and women are imposed by society.

  10. Tim, exactly. Feminists copy what men do to become more attractive to women and are then surprised when that means they would make a good husband.

  11. Feminists copy what men do to become more attractive to women and are then surprised when that means they would make a good husband.

    It’s worse than that, unfortunately: they adopt the worst aspects of men’s behaviour – promiscuity, infidelity, dishonesty, boorishness, drunkenness, bad language – and believe it makes them empowered. They rarely twig that *men* who behave like this don’t do so well in life unless they have an awful lot of other redeemable traits.

  12. promiscuity, infidelity, dishonesty, boorishness, drunkenness, bad language

    But enough about politics. Older women with resouces will be attractive mainly to impoverished artists, writers, musicians etc. I remember asking a successful woman of my acquaintance if that was that bad a deal, she put it bluntly “I’m not paying someone to fuck me.” Men expect to pay for sex, one way or another, women don’t, so there’s a logical contradiction right there. If spending money on a guy is against your principles, then your income is irrelevant, no?

  13. This sort of article appears regularly in the women’s glossies.
    Cosmo Editor: “X has cancelled. We need two pages quickly”
    Sub Editor: “Let’s get Becky to write some drivel about empowered older women. We can work some sex into it”.
    E: “Didn’t we run something like that 6 months ago”
    SE: “Sure, but we’ll put something about Bridgette at the top – no one will notice”
    E: “Go for it”

  14. A nagging piece of advice I was given years ago keeps whispering to me …

    Never stick your cock in crazy.

    I reckon I’ll listen to that little voice.

  15. These articles always talk about humanity in broad brushstroke, all encompassing terms when nothing of the sort is true. The assertions contained therein are therefore as useful as newspaper horoscopes, which is to say not at all.

  16. @Phil B,

    I wish I’d been given that advice a few years ago. Bipolar is really fun to shag…until it isn’t.

  17. Men might want this woman or thar woman but some of us are just too clapped out and knackered now.

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