The Myth of Russian Women

Sakhalin Island may be a frozen wasteland without much entertainment laid on, but the letters page of The Sakhalin Times seems lively enough (emphasis added):

Men are men wherever they are in the world and Russia definitely does have an unfair proportion of beautiful woman. However the “concerned Sakhaliner” should visit nightspots such as 777 where (I suspect) “she” will find large number of young, predatory girls eager to find a foreign boyfriend to improve their lives either on a temporary or even permanent basis. Predatory tactics include jumping into bed with “old foreigners” without much hesitation so it’s no wonder that there is indeed a significant group of foreign men who will take advantage of opportunity. If the “concerned Sakhaliner” has ever met any US or British wives, then the attraction should be obvious.

Ouch!  I hope for his sake his wife doesn’t read the local paper, or at least is not from the US or UK.

Me, I think it’s all rather sad.  For a start, the presence of beautiful young Russian girls eager to leap into bed with a foreigner is exaggerated massively.  I heard stories of how in Yalta all you needed to do was flash your British passport and stunning women just throw themselves at your feet, begging to be dragged to your room and ravaged.  When I went there for myself, I was somewhat disappointed but not altogether surprised to find that the only women who would be remotely interested in such activities were a handful of ropey old tarts who wore cheap clothes and too much makeup.  Far from throwing themselves on foreigners, their sales pitch consisted of sitting round a table drinking heavily, chain smoking, and scowling at passers-by. 

Moscow and St. Petersburg are the same.  Tales abound of men arriving in a hotel to find themselves within five minutes being greeted in their room by a beautiful blonde who does whatever she is asked.  And these tales are probably true, only the storyteller leaves out the annoying facts that he had to pay her a hundred bucks, she didn’t do half what he wanted her to, and she wasn’t as good looking as any of a random selection of girls riding the metro.  I suppose it is possible, after a week or so of relentless purchasing of gifts and promises of marriage, for a visiting foreigner to persuade an ordinary Russian to sleep with him, but this is going to be pretty rare and in all likelihood he will find himself after a few days with a monster headache, an empty wallet, and the girl in question running rings around him.  Just recently, I caused a look of awful disappointment when I informed an Arab gentleman that if he went to Russia looking to find a nice woman to keep him entertained for the week he was going to have to put his hand in his pocket, and it won’t be cheap.  He genuinely thought that women in Moscow would be falling over themselves to sleep with him.  Who tells them this crap?  It’s easier to draw blood from a stone than to get a Muscovite woman to do what you want.

Things might be different in Sakhalin, though.  Certainly, almost all the Russian working girls one encounters in Dubai are from the provinces, usually some village in the middle of nowhere.  Not that they’ll admit this.  They’ll tell you they’re from a place “near to Moscow”, which turns out to be Ufa.  Having spent a fair bit of time in both Moscow and St. Petersburg, I never saw more than a handful of prostitutes, and they were standing in the street as opposed to hanging around the hotel lobbies.  Now, I’m sure you could go to a few dodgy bars or expat haunts and find a working girl or two, but for the large part – at least from where I was standing – they are invisible.  But Sakhalin being a pretty grim place by all accounts, the girls there might well be looking for a way out using a foreigner with not much hair but a lot of cash.  Not that this will be an easy ride, if you excuse the pun.  Any foreigner thinking he can go to a club and get involved with such a girl and emerge unscathed is going to get a nasty shock.

Take the chap writing the letter above, for instance.  He says that the girls will jump into bed without hesitation, but in the course of fumbling with his buttons and taking off his spotty boxers his head is filled only with excitement about shagging somebody his daughter’s age, and hence he has missed the significance of the preceding conversation in which the girl has committed this chap to providing a lot more than a minute and a half of limp action.  In short, he’s got sucked into something which he is going to struggle to get out of without causing an awful lot of distress and aggravation to himself.  Give him a month living with a girl like this, and he’ll be wishing he could rid himself of this stroppy little siren and crawl back under the Paisley bedspread with his now ex-wife who, although having lost her looks fifteen years back, at least behaved in a manner which betrayed a sense of reason, sincerity, and respect.  But by then it’s normally too late, and she’s fucked off with the house and kids.  Must be bags of fun that, having your kids grow up knowing that you ditched their Ma for some tart from a club on Sakhalin Island.

Anyway, I seem to have been rambling somewhat.  What was my point?  Ah, that’s right.  It’s about the last line in the excerpted passage above:

If the “concerned Sakhaliner” has ever met any US or British wives, then the attraction should be obvious. 

Sure, there are Russian women out there who – for some – do stack up favourably when compared to western women, although I would seriously guard against making such comparisons.  And in my case, the attraction of one particular Russian is indeed obvious.  But one thing is certain: you aren’t going to meet such women hanging around dodgy bars in Sakhalin, and they sure as hell aren’t going to be leaping into bed without hesitation with anybody, foreigner or otherwise.

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16 Responses to The Myth of Russian Women

  1. secretdubai says:

    And call me an incurable romantic, but when one is really elderly, it would be quite nice to be slowing down to meet ones maker with another, kind, sweet elderly person that knows all our foibles and has a lifelong history of shared memories.

    Rather than some Anna-Nicole type from a midlife crisis, by now edging towards late-forties brassy muttonhood who is just sitting looking at the clock longing for you to die.

  2. Patrick says:

    After 10 plus trips to Russia and Ukraine, I did find a lady. We are married now and live in the US. We also have a house in Western Ukraine.
    In all of my trips I did not find all of these fine young things,I had heard about for years. I did find very bright attractive, young women who were just wanting to have and live a good life. Are these talked about ladies there ? Yes. Do you have to deal with them? No.
    As far as watching the clock for you to die. Well I guess that is happining to us all..
    Great blog, I realy enjoy it..

  3. Taunted says:

    Well I am disappointed, off to Tyumen in a couple of weeks and was really hoping……

  4. Alexei says:

    This guy seems to be recommending a double cheat. He knows it works not unlike buying on credit. He could find a girl willing to hop into his bed, no down payment required from him. But he knows well the girl is looking for a long-term commitment, which means a long series of installments expected from him, extending well into the future. He probably thinks that part can be avoided so he can get away with a one-night stand and no commitment, cheating on both his wife and his girlfriend. Something tells me that may not always work.

  5. Well my wife is from Kazakhstan, and we didn’t meet there but in the UK, but she always had a bunch of friends who were intelligent and good looking, with good jobs themselves, who were sometimes on the lookout for Western men.

    According to my wife, its because russian and central asian men are such a bad catch – being too drunk most of the time, and too chauvinistic and macho and not considerate etc, and expecting them to be chained to the sink. Whereas they seek an idyllic life with the western blokes, one where they find a bit more equality and independance, and the ability to speak their mind.

    So it seems like there’s too many men visiting Russia and behaving exactly like Russian men – chauvinist pigs that want to degrade women!

    If you want to snag a Russian lass, you need to play to your strengths (if you have any).

    PS – the average Russian or ex Soviet woman is likely to be better educated, articulate and intellectual than the average British chick. So if you are into brains as well as looks you might be onto something.

  6. Tim Newman says:

    Alexei:

    I like the analogy. :)

    Angry Economist:

    Thanks for your input, it is quite interesting to hear from a westerner with an ex-Soviet wife. Incidentally, I know a Kazakh lady who is married to a Dutchman, and they are a wonderful couple.

  7. Tatyana says:

    That was quite entertaining, thank you.

  8. secretdubai says:

    I could be visiting Kazakhstsan in the near future, if I do go it will be a 100% arranged trip with a set itinerary, but if you do have any particular tips (culture, social customs) do please drop me an email. I’m hoping greatly that the trip will happen, so fingers crossed.

  9. KAZAKHSTAN TRIP – a few trips.

    secretdubai –

    In Kazakhstan I have only really been around or near Almaty. Would recommend:

    Staying in Almaty, going up into Tien Shan mountains – visiting Chimbulak. Go on a hunting or pony trekking trip.

    Charyn Canyon – I have heard its really something.

    Stay overnight in a Yurt – why not!

    Near Kazakhstan/Almaty – the silk route is the major draw – head to Uzbekistan and visit Tashkent, Samarkand and Bokhara – this is probably more attractive than anything Kazakhstan has to offer.

    Kirgystan – heard that Lake Issy Kul is really special.

  10. Nick says:

    I am interested in any information on life on Sakhalin island, such as socioeconomic conditions, crime, health, politics etc.

    Thanks,

  11. Kisha says:

    thanks, its the 1st sane article on the subject. Seriously I’m so tired of hearing rubbish about my countrywomen (they’re either perfect or horrible, usually the 1st).

  12. leigh says:

    I work with one or two and not only are they stunning but they look after themselves are incredibly intelligent, very talented and like being treated like equals.

    The more the merrier, wonderful. I think that I am unliekly to lure one being 31 and greying but they are a breed apart from 90& of english girls.

  13. Sam says:

    Ok, I’m a young Russian woman from a village in the middle of nowhere. Never did I jump into the bed of some foreigner to get out of my village (I studied well instead). It’s a stereotype. Unfortunately justified- there are a lot of Russian speaking prostitutes all over the world, there are a lot of young women with low morals living in poverty. Nevertheless, whenever you think of Russian women and all these stereotypes come to your mind, would you, please, keep in mind all the good Russian women too? Just because the bad girls are more famous (and bad shocking stories always spread faster) does not mean all women are like that in Russia. There are a lot of modest, decent, worthy Russian women in Russia and living abroad. Many educated and elevated, elegant women with wonderful, meaningful lives. A lot of women with very high moral standards, loyal women, enduring women, women beautiful inside and out. Many people in Russia (particularly in the major cities) live wealthy life, they get good education, have noble job, occupy high positions, have family and children, hobbies, travel abroad. There are women- scientists, educators, businesswomen, politicians, writers and artists, nuns after all! All those Russian women don’t deserve your contempt.

  14. terry says:

    I have bben writing to a 27 year old from russia, I found her on a dating site. It has been about 2 monthes and she is now talking of coming to see me. Is there anything other than the obvious to worry about

  15. peter says:

    I had to laugh , anywhere else someone would tell you honestly where they are from , in fact coming from a bush town is quite interesting , coming from new York or Sydney is not ,but in Russia they will all tell Moscow area which means Tashkent , Vladivostok means in the tundra somewhere in Siberia , yes they all have uni degrees in strange subjects and they all work serving in a shop for nothing wages , there is a big difference3 between being educated and being smart , if you contact them on the Internet before you go there you can have a s many girls as you like , its not to hard to meet them either cold , but fat Americans who cant get a girl in their own town don’t have much luck anywhere no matter where they go , they were made fat and ugly by god to stop them breeding , to make sure god also made their hair fall out at 25 ,, so maybe stamp collecting is the go , and stop annoying women is my advice to them , or you can always go to Thailand

  16. peter says:

    PS , every great and wealthy person in history had one thing in common
    they never went to school beyond 12 years of age!!!!
    the educated cleans the toilet for them
    a lesson needed to be learnt especially in Russia , that’s why nearly all girls there are poor .
    education does not make you smart , you are either smart or dumb when you are born
    and when you think education will give you money and you see every one around you with a education and no money including your mother and grandmother and cant see it , it means you are born dumb !
    in the soviet time , Russia had no money but sport and education cost them nothing , instead of material things they got a uni degree in gas turbine production so they could leave and serve in a shop selling newspapers. of course the dream is when they go to a foreign country there education will be recognized and they will be in the money , of course Russian education is a joke and your Moscow degree will be laughed at ( yes you can buy any degree there as well } and they will join the ranks of lowly paid just like most of the western educated now that smart people are not the only ones attending uni , now its anyone that can breath and most of them are our own dumb western woman
    80 percent of women s wealth comes from men , from the husband ,from father ,from divorce and it always will due to the fact that women can do everything except one thing and that is make money ,, they just cant do it no matter how hard they try ,so they will always need a man , a smart girl ,notice i did not say educated looks for a man who can support her ,
    so good luck to the educated woman in Russia , where do u want the food parcel sent too ?

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