Just Like Us

So here I am railing against other outfits for not concentrating on their core business while I’m abandoning my very own. It’s time for a post on polyamory:

When people think of polyamorous relationships, they usually jump right to the potential complications: How will you deal with jealousy?

Indeed, how do you deal with…

…oh, never mind.

I once had these worries too, but for nine months I’ve been living with my wife and my wife’s girlfriend (a poly threesome V, rather than a triad, because all three of us are not romantically involved).

So his wife moved her girlfriend in, but he doesn’t get to have threesomes. How disappointing. Can he at least watch?

A typical day at our house begins at 6 a.m., when I grab my laptop from my bedside table and begin my work for Slate without getting dressed, or even out of bed.

A paragraph which adequately explains the quality of Slate’s content.

When it was just the two of us, my wife’s breakfast and morning routine often got in the way of my early-morning productivity. I’d feel obliged to keep her company at breakfast, chat about our plans for the day, and help her find her missing shoe (under the blanket, dear, on the floor by the couch).

Of all the problems associated with marriage and compatibility, the concept of giving the other person “space” in the morning is one I’ve found most couples understand and solve almost immediately.

She and Cassie feed and walk our dogs, plan their days, and commute together to their respective workplaces. I get a plate of bacon and eggs brought into the bedroom as I work.

For the first time in almost two years of writing about polyamory, I’m finally beginning to see an upside.

It’s probably not surprising that it’s great to have the income of an extra working adult as well. A rent we could afford as two becomes easy as pie with three, and there’s something extra relaxing about the nights when Mandy treats both of us out to dinner. It’s really common sense—if pooling resources between two people is good, pooling them with three is great!

This might be true in this case, but most polyamorists I’ve come across have been flat broke; generally they’re fuckups by nature. But what the guy is describing above (and the preceding paragraph about the division of household labour) is as much an argument for having a lodger as being polyamorous.

Before I lived with my wife’s girlfriend, I might have said that having an extra person would only make the conflicts and disagreements of daily life that much harder to work out. Instead, for our family, we’ve found the opposite is true.

I don’t know how long this arrangement has been going on, but I reckon this guy is in serious danger of being turfed out on his ear at any minute. What the article also fails to mention is that he’s transgender. Remember folks, polyamory is a perfectly normal thing which perfectly normal people do.


9 thoughts on “Just Like Us

  1. OK, so the transgender one is the bloke with the beard? It is difficult to tell…

    My initial thought on seeing the photo was ‘at least this guy is getting the 3some action’. I ought to have looked at his smile, which is that of a man who thought he’d swallowed an oyster but has just been told that an emphysemic docker had expectorated on his plate.

    Having read the whole post, it seems he is so fucking useless and lazy that he’s prepared to bin his marriage in favour of breakfast in bed and not having to talk to his wife in the morning. Oh yeah and in return for a meal every now and then. I’m surprised he can be bothered to breathe.

  2. Following through the Twitter link you provided, the person on the right (Amanda) also claims to be trans; and the girl in the middle (Cassie) is merely “queer”.

  3. Hang on, in Evan’s (beardy) twitter someone asks him what he is and his response is that in thinking about trans people, mentally put the word ‘to’ between trans and man/woman.

    So he is actually a woman and his wife’s girlfriend is actually a bloke. Now that’s a fucking sentence for you.

  4. So he is actually a woman and his wife’s girlfriend is actually a bloke.

    Polyamory is for normal people, it doesn’t signify anything at all. :-/

  5. “So he is actually a woman and his wife’s girlfriend is actually a bloke. Now that’s a fucking sentence for you.”

    So, in other words, his wife actually wants to be fu.kd by a proper dick, but wants to keep on pretending she’s a lesbian; no doubt for ideological reasons.

  6. That picture is a bit like one of those horrible yet fascinating wildlife programmes. The big hairy spider or nasty lizard thing has gripped the male or female with that nasty scaly protruberance thing with the sperm dripping off it, while its abdomen is being bored into…

    Part of me wants to know, but part of me wants there not to be such creatures on the planet.

    May the powers grant me the gift of equanimity, or just plain indifference…

  7. “So, in other words, his wife actually wants to be fu.kd by a proper dick …”

    You don’t really know that he has a dick. Depends on how far he went.

  8. To put it as delicately as possible, I have seen things like that bobbing around in pickle jars in the seedier sideshows in travelling fun fairs, (along with “The pig with three heads”, “The cat with 5 legs and two tails” etc.).

    But that was a long time ago in my not so innocent youth … Ahem!

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