A hunt for a tall, handsome Welshman

This shouldn’t be difficult:

A mother who cannot remember the name of her daughter’s father is trying to track him down 15 years after their one night stand. Terri Reid says that all she knows is that he was tall, dark and handsome, and Welsh.

This narrows it down to, what? A dozen blokes? Half a dozen? Now if she’d said he was short, squat, and looked as though he’d played over a hundred first-grade matches at the front of the scrum then admittedly the options would number in the millions. But tall, dark, and handsome? You sure he wasn’t Italian?

They met in 2003 in a nightclub in Blackpool, but their union that night in a friend’s flat above a Chinese takeaway led to her giving birth to Channell who now wants to know who her dad is.

Like school on a Saturday.*

The morning after their rendezvous above the restaurant they went their separate ways.

Terri, 32, still lives in Blackpool but cannot remember the name of the nightclub they met in as it has since been knocked down.

I’m not sure that would help in any case. And this is a nice touch:

If you think you are Channell’s father, get in touch

adam.smith@metro.co.uk.

If a little optimistic. Any Welshman who was tall, dark, and handsome and having unprotected sex with strangers in 2003 has likely fathered an entire rugby team by now. My advice is to go and watch a few colts games, try to spot any player that looks like you or him, and see who’s cheering him the loudest from the sidelines.

(* No class)

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19 thoughts on “A hunt for a tall, handsome Welshman

  1. Are we absolutely certain this isn’t a claim of responsibility here?

    I think we should be told.

  2. “If you think you are Channell’s father, get in touch”

    and get landed with a gigantic bill.

  3. Are we absolutely certain this isn’t a claim of responsibility here?

    In 2003? I’d just discovered the delights of Dubai and the York International Hotel, and then packed off to Kuwait, so no. *angel face*

  4. I want to know what any self-respecting Welshman of any shape is doing in Blackpool.

    Oh wait, did I say “self-respecting” there?

  5. There’s a 99.9% chance she was pissed so the chances of the description being at all accurate are pretty low, given a one off meeting in the dark. If he did look like he’d fit in the Abertillery front row she’s not going to admit it, even if she could remember…….I think the Welshman in question is pretty safe.

    The article might be giving a few middle aged men who might have been in Blackpool on stag or rugby club dos a few sleepless nights though…….

  6. If he did look like he’d fit in the Abertillery front row she’s not going to admit it, even if she could remember…….
    The article might be giving a few middle aged men who might have been in Blackpool on stag or rugby club dos a few sleepless nights though…….

    Care to comment, Whiteboard Technician?

  7. She was knocked up after being in a nightclub that was knocked down! I’ll get me coat…

  8. Like school on a Saturday – Good one!

    Saw it myself yesterday while eating a sandwhich at my desk. I was wondering whether to give you a head’s up. Couldn’t believe the stupidity of the original situation, the woman then, the woman now and the ‘journalist’.

    But obviously you trawl the same up-market publications 🙂

  9. In Blackpool on a stag night?

    I worked with a bloke from Blackpool who said it was the place where you were guaranteed to get a shag if you weren’t too picky.

  10. “Proud mum Terri … said … I have a beautiful daughter from it. She’s wanted for nothing growing up.”

    The taxpayer said: don’t mention it.

  11. How’s Channel getting on at school? Not being mocked or bullied or anything like that, not in Blackpool.

  12. What I want to know is how she’s sure that this one particular guy is the father. She doesn’t sound like she lives the life of nun (or didn’t at that time anyway). Perhaps he’s the one she thinks had the most money?

  13. Perhaps he’s the one she thinks had the most money?

    A guy from fuckin’ Wales? I’d not want to see the ones she thinks were poor!

  14. “Proud mum Terri … said … I have a beautiful daughter from it. She’s wanted for nothing growing up.”

    Except, maybe, a father? Eh, never mind…

    Also, any sane guy seeing that ‘mom and daughter’ duckface picture would avoid them like the plague.

  15. Methinks from the sound of it, it would be like putting your backside onto a spinning buzz saw and trying to guess which tooth nicked your bum first. In other words, she sounds as selective as measles …

    Anyone that DID come forward would be hit with a 15 year backlog of child maintenance payments. Would all tall, dark and handsome Welshmen* stupid enough, please form a queue.

    *In full disclosure mode, the Geordie accent is quite sing-songy and I have been asked if I am Welsh because of my accent so he could be a Geordie. “Howway the lads!” and all that. Ahem!

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