But we’ve got the liver birds!

From a BBC report on Liverpool:

rats, cockroaches, blocked toilets and pools of urine…existing drug problems and mental health conditions, and the plentiful supply of drugs, including in recent years psychoactive substances like spice, worsens their health

Yes, that sounds like Liverpool all right.

Oh wait: this is Liverpool prison. My bad, do carry on.

(With apologies to Thud, who for some reason has put several thousand miles between his family and his hometown.)

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19 thoughts on “But we’ve got the liver birds!

  1. In the festering criminal toilet that is Liverpool…

    Pardon the literary reference, Tim; but those opening words are unforgettable…

  2. Stewart Lee suggests Liverpool is a city where cloying sentimentally passes as comedy.

    When I want to cheer myself up I go to the Liverpool Echo website when a celebrity dies to see how they manage a tenuous link to the city of grief monkeys. I’d give examples but they would seem fabricated, better to try the exercise for yourself.

    Slightly related, if I really want to cheer myself, I put “what does Blackie Lawless look like now?” Into google. The female version is “Mutya Buena”.

  3. I await with interest the next Hillsborough enquiry. I have this feeling that no matter what happens, the people of Liverpool will want yet another enquiry into the events of that wretched day.

    OTOH I don’t recall the same Merseyside interest in the Heysal Stadium business. Odd that.

  4. My mother had her first Indian meal in Liverpool, when my dads ship shipped docked there.

  5. In the early 1980s, I knew a Liverpudlian bloke who didn’t go on about coming from Liverpool, and if questioned about it said that it was just another big English city with its advantages and disadvantages.

    He turned out to be completely unique.

  6. Tim, I spend my time between California and the Wirral, I am very scouse in more ways than I like to admit (being a Tory does make me an exception though) but I was determined to make sure my family got out and never went back, it is a city full of promise, great architecture,parks and restaurants etc. Sadly the natives just will not go off reservation and instead stick to labour, moaning and claiming special status…..mind you at Anfield I do kind of get a tad tribal myself.

  7. Ok, Tony Querfotze, That was the funniest story I’ve read all month.

    The money line: ‘Merseyside Police told the community on Monday to “stop grieving, it’s only a chicken”‘.

  8. “OTOH I don’t recall the same Merseyside interest in the Heysal Stadium business. Odd that.”

    Please don’t mention that, they will only have an enquiry which will find the Liverpool fans were angelic while the Juventus fans pulled the wall on top of themselves…

  9. TJ, speaking as a reds fan and also knowing many more I think you will find we are very aware of our culpability in much of what happened at Heysel plus there are many fan based out reach groups that interact with Italian groups on a quite indepth basis. Both sets of fans take part in ceremonies for both events, sorry to fuck up your snide narrative.

  10. I had my first ever Thai meal in Liverpool.

    I remember it largely for thinking (despite having had Bangladeshi meals for years), “oh, shite, this is hot” and taking a large forkful of salad to cool my mouth down (being, at that point, too young to just neck 1/2 pint of lager.) Oops, not clever. Salad dressing consisting of 5 different sorts of chillies and a dribble of sesame oil.

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