Twenty ways to tell that your hotel is crap:<\/p>\n
1.\u00a0 Housekeeping leaves a dirty coffee cup on the table for two days.<\/p>\n
2.\u00a0 You can make a cold face-mask with a towel and still watch TV.<\/p>\n
3.\u00a0 Half the TV channels work half the time.<\/p>\n
4.\u00a0 The internet costs $1 for 5 minutes.<\/p>\n
5.\u00a0 They fumigate the rooom every month, causing dying cockroaches to drop from the ductwork that night.<\/p>\n
6.\u00a0 You have a shower and foot\/ankle bath simultaneously.<\/p>\n
7.\u00a0 Laundry takes an hour to collect on a good day.<\/p>\n
8.\u00a0 Eight hours on a bad day.<\/p>\n
9.\u00a0 And it comes back sized for Action Man.<\/p>\n
10.\u00a0 Half the bulbs in the hotel sign have blown.<\/p>\n
11.\u00a0 You have to ask the waitresses to replenish bowls\/milk\/spoons\/coffee cups at breakfast.\u00a0 Every single morning.<\/p>\n
12.\u00a0 Prostitutes hiss at you from the bushes.<\/p>\n
13.\u00a0 The bottom of the bed and edges of the sofa are black with grime.<\/p>\n
14.\u00a0 The bathrobe is sized for a 12 year old girl.<\/p>\n
15.\u00a0 The minibar is empty.<\/p>\n
16.\u00a0 Walking from one part of the hotel to another involves similar levels of peril to crossing the M25.<\/p>\n
17.\u00a0 Getting a full set of towels is a bonus.<\/p>\n
18.\u00a0 Washing a pair of socks costs $1.60, a shirt\u00a0 $5.60, and a pair of trousers $9.30.\u00a0 Pressing is 50% extra.<\/p>\n
19.\u00a0 The air conditioner sounds like a diesel engine.<\/p>\n
20.\u00a0 The room rate per night is over $250.\u00a0 Breakfast is an additional $28.\u00a0 This is a basic room, prices for other rooms go beyond $1,700 per night.<\/p>\n
Welcome to Nigeria, and the best hotel in Lagos.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Twenty ways to tell that your hotel is crap: 1.\u00a0 Housekeeping leaves a dirty coffee cup on the table for two days. 2.\u00a0 You can make a cold face-mask with a towel and still watch TV. 3.\u00a0 Half the TV … Continue reading