{"id":6521,"date":"2018-01-22T10:30:11","date_gmt":"2018-01-22T09:30:11","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.desertsun.co.uk\/blog\/?p=6521"},"modified":"2018-01-22T10:36:17","modified_gmt":"2018-01-22T09:36:17","slug":"i-want-i-want-i-want","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.desertsun.co.uk\/blog\/6521\/","title":{"rendered":"I Want, I Want, I Want"},"content":{"rendered":"

There was time when folks used to entertain themselves by visiting loony bins and laughing at the antics of the inmates. Nowadays we have TV programs like Geordie Shore<\/em> and BBC articles like this one<\/a>:<\/p>\n

Ten months ago, thirty-something Jessica was eager to get pregnant. A series of relationships had failed so she tried a radically new approach – she posted an advert online.<\/p>\n

…<\/p>\n

The request was posted on Craigslist, a website better known for second-hand goods.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

A decent editor would have deleted that wholly superfluous “better”.<\/p>\n

The potential father needed to be over 5ft 9in, under 40 and prepared to take an STD test. He would also be required to have “a few days of frequent sex”.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

This woman would prefer her offspring to be tall rather than smart.<\/p>\n

“Our grandparents didn’t spend years and years cohabiting and watching boxsets,” she says.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

No. No, they didn’t. Which is why they didn’t have to resort to advertising on Craigslist.<\/p>\n

“Starting a family was very much the goal of their endeavour.”<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Indeed, they wanted a family and so got on with the job of making one rather than suddenly realising it at 30.<\/p>\n

She’d also watched many of her friends start families after falling “madly in love”, only to split up later in a cloud of angry recriminations.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

So her friends are unable to maintain lasting relationships, kids be damned? Why aren’t I surprised?<\/p>\n

“I decided I could sacrifice romantic fulfilment as long as my child had two parents who loved and cared for them,” she says.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Because the relationship between the parents has no effect whatsoever on the child; what matters is the woman has what she wants.<\/p>\n

She posted her advert on Craigslist while on a bus from her home in the suburbs into central London – and by the time she arrived at Oxford Street, she already had a number of replies.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

From men who are more used to seeing such adverts with prices attached.<\/p>\n

A year earlier, Jessica had been in a long-term relationship with David. Like her, he wanted children… but he was in no rush.<\/p>\n

“He was aimless. He wanted to wait until he felt better about his life and his career. You just think, ‘Come on!'” Jessica says.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

So he couldn’t get his life together, probably didn’t want children with her, and all she could do was think things to herself? Hurrah for female empowerment!<\/p>\n

She had wanted children since she turned 30 and was envious of friends who were starting families.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

I used to be like that. The feeling wore off after lunch.<\/p>\n

She was also shaken by a visit to her aunt in hospital. Her aunt didn’t have children, and Jessica believed she had been ignored by doctors as there had been no-one to insist on better care.<\/p>\n

“I thought there was a risk of me ending up in a similar situation if I had no kids of my own. They can act as insurance for when you get older.”<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Firstly this kid will learn that its mother didn’t care who its father was. Then it will learn its primary purpose for being brought into this world was to ensure its mother is looked after when she’s old. The BBC takes no issue with this.<\/p>\n

She ended her relationship with David in March 2016 and almost immediately started dating her colleague, Scott. He was keen to have a baby, but after six months of trying they had nothing to show for it.\u00a0So they went to a GP, who suggested blood tests – and while Jessica’s results were clear, Scott’s revealed a range of fertility issues.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

I can’t think of a single person who is more fortunate to be infertile. Trust me Scott old chap, the Gods are smiling on you.<\/p>\n

“He didn’t react well to the news and basically fell apart. I didn’t feel I had the ability to support him through it,” Jessica says.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Meaning, he was no longer useful to her so she abandoned him.<\/p>\n

“She asked, ‘Why would you spend \u00a3700 for sperm when you could go down to Yates’s [wine bar] and find someone who would gladly give you it for free?'” Jessica says.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

It’s all class with our Jess.<\/p>\n

She then started chatting to a single man on the website, until an insurmountable barrier got in the way – Brexit.<\/p>\n

“He voted to leave Europe and I’m very much for remain,” Jessica says. “I said, ‘I’m not really sure we can parent like this.'”<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

She desperately wants a baby with practically anyone who can get it up, but draws the line at men who voted to leave the EU? This woman is fucking insane.<\/p>\n

Jessica quit the website, which charged a monthly fee, and considered dating apps. But as a teacher she didn’t want to post a photograph of herself.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

This train-wreck of a woman is a teacher?<\/p>\n

“I didn’t want to use a dating website or Tinder in case a student saw a picture of me. Plus I knew Craigslist got a lot of traffic and was free to use,” she says.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

The avoidance of monthly website fees being of utmost importance when searching for the father of your child.<\/p>\n

“God, it sounds completely crazy looking back,” Jessica says.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

I daresay it looked that way at the time, too.<\/p>\n

She received a flurry of replies, including the obligatory slew of penis pictures.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

She advertised free sex on Craiglist with almost no conditions. What was she expecting, flowers and a poem?<\/p>\n

A number of men wrote claiming they had helped several women, which turned Jessica off.<\/p>\n

“The last thing I needed was for my child to end up at a party and snog their sibling without knowing,” Jessica says.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Just try to imagine the thought process that led to her making this statement.<\/p>\n

Another young man wrote to say he was desperate for a baby after his previous partner had a miscarriage. Jessica felt he was too vulnerable.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

In other words, he might need something from her.<\/p>\n

Then she received an email from Ross.<\/p>\n

“He was 33 and also lived in London. He said he’d had some disastrous relationships but he loved being an uncle and wanted children of his own,” Jessica says.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Because nothing makes for a better father than a man with a series of disastrous relationships behind him.<\/p>\n

They discovered they were of different faiths<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Uh-oh. Swarthy foreigner? What do you reckon?<\/p>\n

but agreed they wanted a “London approach” to religion.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Any problems are just part and parcel of living in a big city?<\/p>\n

“We agreed there was one God who loved pretty much everybody and we would want a child to be comfortable with people of any faith or no faith.”<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Before the boy was circumcised at the father’s insistence. Jessica wanted to object, but didn’t want another black eye.<\/p>\n

Ross was very involved during the pregnancy and accompanied Jessica to hospital appointments. It wasn’t all plain sailing, though.<\/p>\n

They clashed about who got to keep the original ultrasound pictures and whether to spend money finding out the sex of the baby early.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

“Ross” didn’t want a girl, only a boy?<\/p>\n

The couple told their parents Jessica was expecting a baby after the pregnancy had lasted 12 weeks, but didn’t reveal how they had met.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

I have a feeling they’ll find out soon enough, under less rosy circumstances.<\/p>\n

The couple have now been together just under a year and parents for two months. They are still discovering new things about each other.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Two months. Right.<\/p>\n

What annoys me about these articles is they are presented without any scrutiny of such issues as the effect this arrangement will have on the child, or the fact that the woman’s own disastrous life choices have forced her into this. And we never get to read of the aftermath, when the entire situation unravels in a manner which could have been easily predicted by anyone with a brain. All we get is positive puff-pieces like this, while the costs of such lunacy are foisted on the rest of society.<\/p>\n

(H\/T My Burning Ears in the comments and\u00a0@wibble80 on Twitter)<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

There was time when folks used to entertain themselves by visiting loony bins and laughing at the antics of the inmates. Nowadays we have TV programs like Geordie Shore and BBC articles like this one: Ten months ago, thirty-something Jessica … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[79,87],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.desertsun.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6521"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.desertsun.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.desertsun.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.desertsun.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.desertsun.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=6521"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"http:\/\/www.desertsun.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6521\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":6524,"href":"http:\/\/www.desertsun.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6521\/revisions\/6524"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.desertsun.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=6521"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.desertsun.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=6521"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.desertsun.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=6521"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}