{"id":5176,"date":"2017-07-21T11:17:46","date_gmt":"2017-07-21T09:17:46","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.desertsun.co.uk\/blog\/?p=5176"},"modified":"2017-07-21T11:20:07","modified_gmt":"2017-07-21T09:20:07","slug":"another-attempt-at-normalising-polyamory","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.desertsun.co.uk\/blog\/5176\/","title":{"rendered":"Another attempt at normalising polyamory"},"content":{"rendered":"

Via TJ in the comments<\/a>, the mainstream media has another go at normalising polyamorous relationships. This time it’s the BBC<\/a>:<\/p>\n

Prof Aviram said she found little appetite for marriage among polyamorous groups when she first started her research in 2004 but she began to see a change around 2012.<\/p>\n

…<\/p>\n

Prof Aviram believes changing attitudes may be due to wider acceptance of same-sex marriage around the world, making way for new taboos to be broken.<\/p>\n

“Perhaps in the 1970s, same-sex marriage was as unimaginable as group marriage is today,” she says.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

When same-sex marriages were legalised, some folks warned that it would put the institute of marriage on a slippery slope to mockery and obsolescence. Reading this, they may have been onto something. Of course, for many people this was the whole point.<\/p>\n

[28-year-old DeAnna Rivas] suggested to her husband, Manny, that they start experimenting with another woman in 2014.<\/p>\n

…<\/p>\n

After the birth of their second child, DeAnna was struggling with depression and felt she could not get enough emotional support from her husband alone.<\/p>\n

“I was so unhappy I couldn’t express my feelings to him. I had another part of me that was missing.<\/p>\n

“When we met Melissa it just felt right.”<\/p>\n

DeAnna, an art teacher, now lives with both Manny and 20-year-old Melissa James; they share incomes, childcare and household duties, and a bed.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

So at twenty years old this Melissa is apparently mature enough to decide getting into a polyamorous relationship with a married couple with kids is the right thing to do. Here’s my prediction. Within a few years Melissa will be out of the relationship and will either:<\/p>\n

1. Angrily defend her past choices, screaming abuse at anyone who questions them backed by a veritable phalanx of middle-aged feminists with green hair and neck tattoos. She’ll double down on the stupidity and learn nothing.<\/p>\n

2. Write this off as youthful naivety, deal with it, bury it, and move on. With luck, she’ll go on to lead a normal life.<\/p>\n

Manny, 30, says some people are upset by the relationship – a previous employer even threatened to sack him as a result – but others are intrigued.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Can we hear from Melissa’s father, please? Or did he walk out when she was 12, which would explain everything.<\/p>\n

If things are going to change, there need to be more role models to show people that polyamorous relationships can last long term, she adds.<\/p>\n

Manny Rivas says he “would love for us to be able to get legally married and show people there’s nothing wrong with it, show people you can make it work.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Getting married would show us only that the legal system in the US can be manipulated in the interests of social engineering. What would show people polyamorous relationships can work is an interview with three partners who’ve made it work over three decades and whose grown-up children are normal and speak of a happy, stable childhood.<\/p>\n

Oddly, these media puff-pieces praising polyamory are remarkably short on such examples.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Via TJ in the comments, the mainstream media has another go at normalising polyamorous relationships. This time it’s the BBC: Prof Aviram said she found little appetite for marriage among polyamorous groups when she first started her research in 2004 … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[60,87,27],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.desertsun.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5176"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.desertsun.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.desertsun.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.desertsun.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.desertsun.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=5176"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"http:\/\/www.desertsun.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5176\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":5180,"href":"http:\/\/www.desertsun.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5176\/revisions\/5180"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.desertsun.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=5176"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.desertsun.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=5176"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.desertsun.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=5176"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}