{"id":10095,"date":"2019-10-08T21:47:08","date_gmt":"2019-10-08T19:47:08","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.desertsun.co.uk\/blog\/?p=10095"},"modified":"2019-10-08T21:53:42","modified_gmt":"2019-10-08T19:53:42","slug":"50-spent","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.desertsun.co.uk\/blog\/10095\/","title":{"rendered":"50 Spent"},"content":{"rendered":"

Via William of Ockham<\/a>, a tale of middle-age dating woe from that well-known city of love and romance: Paris<\/del> Brisbane<\/a>.<\/p>\n

Brisbane mother Lorrae Carr says she has a good reason to lie about her age on dating apps.<\/p>\n

The 51-year-old, who works in recruitment, says meeting a worthy match on Tinder when you are over 50 was like “finding a unicorn”.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

There’s a lot going on here. Firstly her parents appear to have called her lorry car. Secondly, there’s the rather startling contention that a “good reason” for lying is advancing one’s personal interests. Thirdly, this woman works in recruitment: presumably she’s happy with people lying on their CVs if it lands them a better job. Finally, I suspect she is meeting plenty of worthy matches, but she is deluded as to her own attractiveness as a partner.<\/p>\n

\n

“The reason is once a woman hits 50 she becomes invisible,<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

50? Try 35.<\/p>\n

\n

I have done an experiment on this to prove it,” Ms Carr said.<\/p>\n

“I posted identical photos and profiles, just changed my age by two years and got about five times the amount of responses as my younger self.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Woman discovers people use round numbers when setting age filters on dating apps.<\/p>\n

“For a long time now I put myself as 49 not 51, because\u00a0men don’t just search in that category and if they do they are in their 60s.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

They don’t search in that category because they don’t want women of that age. This isn’t hard.<\/p>\n

“I kind of felt guilty about it, it is not because I want to be dishonest I just want to find someone my own age.”<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Most men want Taylor Swift; most men are realistic.<\/p>\n

Ms Carr believes the 50th birthday milestone is a mental barrier for men,<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

In the same way 60 is a mental barrier for her?<\/p>\n

and says she fesses up to her real age after meeting her dates in person.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

The fact she’s got enough experience of this to write a newspaper article suggests this approach hasn’t delivered the results she’d hoped for. Who would have guessed?<\/p>\n

She is not alone, data published by the The Australian Seniors Insurance Agency this month found four in five Queenslanders over 50 lie about their age on dating apps.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Are we sure they’re not just innumerate?<\/p>\n

Clinical psychologist\u00a0Matthew Worthington said while it was not healthy to lie about your age, it wasn’t uncommon.<\/p>\n

Most people are terrified of being alone and fear rejection, that is why they lie,” he said.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

I’m sure this is true, but it doesn’t describe the woman in question. She’s not in fear of being alone, she’s complaining the men she wants aren’t interested in someone of her age. What’s wrong with a bloke who’s 60? She’s hardly a spring chicken, is she?<\/p>\n

He said the more people felt disconnected, the more likely they were to turn to online dating apps to feel validated.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Ah yes, serial online dating as an alternative to addressing psychological problems. Hi [name redacted]!<\/a><\/p>\n

Ms Carr, who is the mother of two teenage boys,<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Yeah, she sounds like quite the catch.<\/p>\n

said in her experience, about a quarter of men her age used online dating apps to find casual sexual partners<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

What did she think Tinder was for, marriage proposals?<\/p>\n

and many others to find partners 10-15 years younger than them.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Well, yes. Grandma could have told you this without switching on a computer.<\/p>\n

“The biggest challenge is just trying to find quality people, there is not a shortage of men but there is a severe shortage of quality men \u2013 it is like finding a unicorn,” she said.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Yes, because quality men aren’t hanging around on dating sites, or if they are they quickly get snapped up by pretty young women who may or may not be from a place where they like sheep and mix their vowels up. Like many women featured in articles I’ve covered on this blog, this one seems to have an inflated view of her own value in the dating market.<\/p>\n

“I think the older you get the more baggage people have.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Like two teenage sons and no mention of their father? Yeah, I bet men are just queuing up to get involved in that.<\/p>\n

“There are also lots of married people using it and people who claim they are in open relationships.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

I know Brisbane is backward, but do its residents really need a newspaper article to tell them this? What will they run tomorrow, a feature on how shopping is sometimes done online?<\/p>\n

“Then there are people who are still in love with their former wives or girlfriends. People get on to Tinder after a few months of being separated\u00a0and then find they are not ready.”<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Is that what they told you? Heh.<\/p>\n

Ms Carr said she had tried a host of online dating apps and websites, but was yet to meet her Mr Right.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Here’s my advice: 1) be honest 2) be realistic 3) don’t be a nut. Can you manage that?<\/p>\n

“The last time I was in love was 10 years ago,” she said.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

How is<\/em> the ex-hubby doing?<\/p>\n

\n
\n

“I have had a tonne of experience with online dating but have not had much luck, I am slightly jaded but still hopeful.”<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

So lying about your age didn’t work? Hmmm. Maybe you could try saying you’re from the Philippines?<\/p>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Via William of Ockham, a tale of middle-age dating woe from that well-known city of love and romance: Paris Brisbane. Brisbane mother Lorrae Carr says she has a good reason to lie about her age on dating apps. The 51-year-old, … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[87],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.desertsun.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/10095"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.desertsun.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.desertsun.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.desertsun.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.desertsun.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=10095"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"http:\/\/www.desertsun.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/10095\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":10100,"href":"http:\/\/www.desertsun.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/10095\/revisions\/10100"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.desertsun.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=10095"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.desertsun.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=10095"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.desertsun.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=10095"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}