Tooth Update

Well that was a barrel of laughs!

I am now two wisdom teeth and £330 lighter.  My jaw is still under anaesthetic, and when he was removing the lower tooth he bruised my tongue, which then swelled up, and I am now speaking like Jamie Oliver.

Fortunately he didn’t have to remove any bone, so he assures me there should not be too much swelling.  He did an excellent job, and I didn’t feel any pain as such, but I was amazed are the force required to remove a tooth.  At one point, I thought he’d given up on removing the lower one as it was currently situated, and was instead removing my jaw so he could work on it in a vice.  I had never undergone anything like this before, and had foolishly not eaten anything beforehand.  A combination of the empty stomach, the taste of chemicals in my mouth, and me being a wimp led me to feel very sick, become all dizzy, and pass out for a second or two.  I came round to find the rather attractive Scandinavian nurse mopping my brow for me, which was not bad at all.  Then they ripped out the upper one, which I could hear more than feel.  The crunching of tooth and bone, knowing full well it is your own, is not a pleasant sound.

Still, everything’s okay so far, and I have a few hours until the anaesthetic wears off and the pain kicks in properly.  Expect plenty of whining and complaing from me over the next few days. 


“Thou shall have no other gods besides Me…”

declares the second Commandment of ten.  Sorry, old chap, but you’re going to have to shift over and make a bit of room temporarily.  Whoever invented Brufen 600 is making a strong case for God-like worship right now.  Damn, when the anaesthetic was wearing off it started to hurt.  Really hurt.  Okay, I’m a bit of a wimp when it comes to pain, but it damned well hurt anyway.  Fortunately, with one horse-tablet of Ibuprofen, I was able to sleep a bit.

But now I’m hungry, and the surgeon said don’t eat anything hot.  So I guess I’ll have to eat those 12 cans of soup bought specially some other time, eh?  Never thought of yoghurt, as Mark suggests in the comments.  I have none in the house, and really don’t want to go to the supermarket, with all those protruding shelves and sharp edges at jaw height.  All I’ve got is a bag if Dorritos, which I bought to watch the football tonight.  I might as well have bought razor blades.

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8 Responses to Tooth Update

  1. Mark Holland says:


    Get in some yogurt and mouse.

    Thank goodness I was out cold and so didn’t have to observe what was going on.

  2. Tim Newman says:

    Thank goodness I was out cold and so didnt have to observe what was going on.

    The sadistic bastards who built my dentist’s chair had fitted a little mirror on the overhead lamp so you could do just that. The nurse asked me if I wanted to watch what was going on! Jesus!

    My eyes were screwed tightly shut throughout like I was on vinegar strokes, or something.

  3. Emily says:

    When I had my wisdom teeth pulled, I made the doc give me the whole nine yards and knock me out. When I came to, I started crying. I have no idea why. I think I got ripped off. My wisdom teeth cost over $1,000 to remove and that was ten years ago (granted you only lost two and I had all four pulled, but still).

  4. Mark Holland says:

    On second thoughts scrap the mouse. Mousse is better, there’s fewer bones.

  5. Alison says:

    I think you got off quite lightly costs wise – I recently made the mistake the of having 2 fillings done in the UK that cost 200 each – I dread to think what wisdom tooth work would have been.

    Am moving to Dubai soon and know I will need to visit a dentist for some root canal work that I don’t have time to get done in the UK – who is your excellent dentist please?

  6. Tim Newman says:


    My dentist is at:

    Dental Department, Dr Akel’s General Medical Clinic, 1st Floor Magrudy’s Centre (behind Spinney’s), Beach Road, Jumeirah, Tel. 04 344 9150

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