Spiritual Alignment

The other day I was talking to a friend about how the homepages of corporate websites tell you very little about what the organisation actually does, instead displaying some woolly guff which could mean anything. To demonstrate this I looked at two random companies, having no idea what their websites looked like in advance. Here’s KPMG’s:

Here’s Accenture’s:

I didn’t bother looking at any others. Whereas a corporate homepage might not tell you much about what the company does, it leaves you in no doubt as to what they are selling. As I’m fond of pointing out, the academic research is very much ambivalent as to whether gender diversity results in better corporate performance, which means they’re doing it purely for ideological reasons and lying about it. Then again, McKinsey’s commissioned a non-academic study to show that gender equality makes firms more profitable, but I also hear Daz washes whiter than any other powder.

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19 thoughts on “Spiritual Alignment

  1. Speaking of McKinsey, a friend of mine who works there told me, after the James Damore news in Google, “if I had written even half of what he wrote in that memo here in McKinsey I would have been crucified”. Not exactly surprising that their “study” finds gender balance equals better. There is no other outcome they would have allowed.

  2. KPMG actually run a pretty tight ship. The messages on their websites are aimed at their customers: bloated corporations and government departments who urgently need to tick the “gender” box for their next annual report. The UK govt requires gender pay gap reporting by the end of this financial year, i.e. next week, so you can expect lots of gender pay gap news throughout April.

    The Big Four accountancy firms (KPMG, PwC, Ernst & Young, Deloitte) have huge gender pay gaps themselves.

  3. The messages on their websites are aimed at their customers:

    Well yeah, they’re salesmen. I went to a presentation from someone from one of the Big Four recently and I thought if he wasn’t working there he’d be selling timeshares.

  4. I remember well talking to some representatives of the big management consultancies at a uni careers fair, over 20 years ago. Lots of waffle about “strategic vertical insight solutions” and so on. None of them could answer the simple question “But what do you actually _do_?”.

  5. Why don’t the corporate board members and whoever else is in the top jobs the powerskirts feel they are entitled to just take advantage of the trans craze, and the ever more onerous laws in the UK and Canada about “misgendering” and such, and just have half the board Identify as women? They don’t even have to take hormones or even wear makeup – just tick the box on the forms for F instead of M and then when the data gets reported – viola! Diversity! Inclusion! Equality! It would be the modern way of going Galt. Just say half your top dogs are women and by the power of Trans Magic – they are! No questions asked, or it’s off to the Human Rights Tribunal, or the Essex Twitter Police, or whoever else is in charge of hauling citizens off for getting the gender wrong.

    I’m so sick of this idiocy and how this Diversity! Inclusion! Equality! crap is invading even science and engineering. I don’t want to be a token female. I want to succeed on merit, and earn respect from my colleagues, if I am good enough. I’m not entitled to anything.

  6. The trouble with the adverts on this blog is that posts like this one – with illustrations – tend to get a bit confusing. I thought KPMG were a cut above offering me cheap brakes and tyres in the Shoreham area. I hadn’t heard of the other company, but apparently they do a nice line in older ladies looking for company

  7. …just take advantage of the trans craze…

    See Alex in the telegraph for details – scroll down to ones about “Stephanie”.

  8. See Alex in the telegraph for details – scroll down to ones about “Stephanie”.

    Ooh, is Alex still going? That was brilliant back in the day.

  9. I thought KPMG were a cut above offering me cheap brakes and tyres in the Shoreham area.

    Heh!

  10. See Alex in the telegraph for details – scroll down to ones about “Stephanie”.

    Hahaha – those are awesome! Brilliant, as y’all might say. The ones where they try to out trans each other are perfect! There’s just enough truth in that humor, sadly.

    Thank you for that link – just what I need when I’m on break and looking for something to read, and I’ve read all the new posts on my usual blogs.

  11. Tim,

    Given that they are in your wheelhouse, have you any thoughts on B-Corps? I’ve enjoyed your commentary on working for big French companies, and now that I work for a big French B-Corp any insight would be appreciated.

  12. I haven’t been directly exposed to KPMG, though do have experience of Accenture. They’d need to be able to find Shoreham before offering cheap brakes and tyres there, however we can all dream.

  13. Out of interest I checked our website home page.

    It has an 18 second continuously looping action video of us doing our thing, full width to about a third down the screen with our three operational company logos (that you can click on) imposed over the very bottom of this video, then next down a 106 word About Us on the left side with a click on corporate video on its right, below this at the bottom is an elongated map of the world showing our operational areas.

    By the way we don’t do SEO and prefer to pay the tiny fee for Google listing ad that gets us up to the top search listing, something like 10 times per day, which generates quite a lot of new client cold contacts which we often convert into secured contracts.

  14. Given that they are in your wheelhouse, have you any thoughts on B-Corps?

    Eek, I’m not familiar with the term B-Corps. But happy to talk to you about working with the French.

  15. ComputerLabRat: just tick the box on the forms for F instead of M and then when the data gets reported – viola! …you’re on your way to forming a string quartet! 🙂

  16. They’re selling values to the sort of idiots in companies who are clueless and scared.

    Most management in large companies are not geniuses or entrepreneurs. They’re mostly there because they joined a company founded by great men and rose up through the ranks, and did so as the company became more and more conformist to the current orthodoxy.

    The signals from these companies, and many other companies in so many ways in their marketing, are about them being part of the orthodoxy. Idiot managers look on them as being normal, like them. I’ve worked with these companies. They’re no more pro-diversity than anyone else. They might hold some ceremonial meetings and courses, but they don’t actually care.

    I have an opinion that when companies start hiring the likes of Accenture, you want to look at selling shares in them, because that company’s growth is over. You now have caretakers in charge of the company who at best are going to deliver steady returns and at worst, will be destroyed when any market disruption comes along.

  17. I have an opinion that when companies start hiring the likes of Accenture, you want to look at selling shares in them, because that company’s growth is over.

    Oh yes. It’s one thing to bring in consultants to implement a particular operational process, but firms hire consultants to advise them on strategy. Isn’t the whole point of the CEO and other company officers to set strategy, then get the board to approve it? It’s like me hiring a painter and the chap who shows up says he doesn’t know how to paint and doesn’t have any brushes so needs to hire someone else (at my expense) who can show him how to do it.

  18. Or an executive director asking a consultant to tell him where he should put the dartboard up on the boardroom wall.

  19. ” Isn’t the whole point of the CEO and other company officers to set strategy, then get the board to approve it?”

    Kind off yes, but quite often and certainly in smaller organisations, most, if not all, of the C level execs are also executive directors that sit on the Board. Where say the grey bearded and elder statesmanlike Chairman of the Board, is the only non-executive director in the room.

    I have came across different schools of thought and participated in many strategic planning sessions that had completely different views and practices on the level of input and direct involvement that directors should have in a strategic planning session. There isn’t a one size fits all, or a right or wrong way to do this, just as long as however and whomever does it in any given organisation, that they make it real and get it right.

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