Fake blues

I’ve previously (1, 2) covered articles written by Kate Mulvey, the 55-year old perpetually single woman who, with her 2:1 in Italian and French from the University of Kent, is just too damned smart for any man. In the comments under the most recent post, someone wrote:

She seems to have a decent enough shtick writing articles for the Mail & Telegraph designed to generate clicks from equally dysfunctional females and us folks seeking a bit of “look at the nutter” entertainment.

Probably not paid enough to live on so there is likely to be a “real” person (worth in excess of £6k) behind this unlikely and highly unappealing persona.

To which I replied:

You know, I’m rather convinced by the theory this is just an alter-ego, dreamed up for the purposes of writing articles. If that was the case, I’d be rather impressed.

I’m becoming more convinced by this theory. Yesterday a reader sent me a link to this article by the same woman:

Looking back at my mid-20s, I lived a glamorous life. A roving reporter, constant parties and a dating diary full of eligible bachelors, I was footloose and fancy free. In my 30s, the landscape started to change. Friends either got married or tightly clutched the hand of a potential husband-to-be.

So far so Mulvey.

Then nine years ago, aged 46, I met Josh through friends at a dinner party. It was an instant mutual attraction. He was a handsome banker and we lived together in his house in Barnes, South-West London.

When he proposed to me one summer in Italy, I was over the moon. I saw us enjoying a life of comfortable companionship. Just the two of us — neither of us had children.

Then, one day, just shy of my 50th birthday, after four years together, something inside me snapped. I realised that Josh was never going to commit and told him the relationship was over.

In the the first article I fisked she said she broke off a year-long relationship with a chap called Phil when she was 50. She also said she’d never been enagaged. In her second article she said she came out of a seven-year relationship “the wrong side of 50”. Then there was this from the first article:

Three months ago I went to Italy with my then boyfriend, Philip. As we were checking into the hotel, I struck up a conversation with the receptionist in Italian (just one of the five languages I speak). But while I was enjoying myself, chatting away, it became clear that Philip most certainly was not.

He shuffled from foot to foot, muttered something under his breath and rolled his eyes like a stroppy teenager.

Then in the lift he turned on me. ‘I was wondering when you were going to let me join your conversation,’ he snapped. I tried to laugh it off but I knew this was the beginning of yet another argument.

But by the second article it had changed to:

I was about to call it a day and demand my money back, when my matchmaker sent through the detail a publisher from Oxford. We met at a pub near his home.

But very quickly the debonair man who had seemed laid-back in London had morphed into a raging chauvinist in the countryside. When I started to chat to waiter in Italian, it became clear that my date was not happy. He muttered something under his breath and rolled his eyes like a stroppy teenager.

“I WAS WONDERING when you were going to let me join your conversation,” he boomed. I tried to laugh it off but clocked this was a man with a fragile ego.

Now this woman is either nuts or she’s making stuff up and her editors not fussy about consistency between one story and the next. My guess is the whole character is an author’s alter-ego designed in precisely the way my commenter described. In this latest article she’s telling us how she’s moved back in with her parents:

There is still a stigma about a grown woman living back home. Being middle-aged is hard enough. But when you are middle-aged, unmarried and living with your dad, it’s a thousand times harder.

My friends joke that I am the oldest teenager in Britain. Who can blame them? What could be sadder than a woman in advanced middle age who can’t even bring a boyfriend back for a glass of wine or — God forbid — to stay the night.

Is anyone believing a word of this?

On the plus side, I have started seeing a wonderful man, who lives down the road in Fulham.

No doubt we’ll be hearing about this imaginary man’s failings in a few months time. If someone’s paying her for this tripe I suppose it’s worth it, but I do hope she’s not using her real photo to illustrate the articles.

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21 thoughts on “Fake blues

  1. @Fay

    I couldn’t give half a hoot about the lass and her serendipitously remunerative tales of woe, but I’m not onboard with the “news” media dropping any pretensions of caring about accuracy, even if the rot is mostly in their “fluff’n’lifestyle” section for now. Interesting how righteous the press got about J. Hari’s deviations from veracity (also in “soft” stories) as if driving him out symbolised the media’s deep ethical and professional commitment to The Truth, when they freely publish so much other nonsense that an editor with a critical eye could easily detect.

  2. I think there’s an element of truth, but she just recycles old stories with the names changed. The only question is how long she can keep it up.

    Her latest about moving back to her parent’s she did 3 years ago with a different spin. According to that one she moved in back in 2010 as a carer.

    If you google “Kate Mulvey journalist” there’s tons of this stuff.

  3. MBE – “…I’m not onboard with the “news” media dropping any pretensions of caring about accuracy, even if the rot is mostly in their “fluff’n’lifestyle” section for now.”

    “Dropping”? “For now”?

    The hamster that Freddie Starr ate would like a word with you.

  4. I’m sorry I doubted you; I had to check for myself after reading this:

    He was a handsome banker and we lived together in his house in Barnes, South-West London.

    I mean, surely it would be

    He was a handsome banker and we lived together in his £2.5 million house in Barnes, South-West London.

    But no. The only house price mentioned is the flat she allegedly didn’t buy.

  5. A banker you say?

    ahem…I give you from 2008 Kate Mulvey: ‘Yes, I’m a fake fiancée’ in which she “…got herself a ring and pretended to be engaged to a banker.”

    She may have reached the point where she’s forgotten what was true and what she made up. That said as a cautionary tale for young women…

  6. I love the pictures from her latest………………her father looks humungously pissed off with the way things have turned out.

  7. Tim, how can we be sure you’re not making up all that stuff about engineering and the oil industry and working in different countries?

    In any case, you ought to spice things up a bit by inventing a menage a sept with some polyamorists on your MBA. We’d pay you a lot more.

  8. Tim, how can we be sure you’re not making up all that stuff about engineering and the oil industry and working in different countries?

    If my colleagues read it, they’d probably say I was!

    In any case, you ought to spice things up a bit by inventing a menage a sept with some polyamorists on your MBA.

    It’s not through lack of trying. 😉

  9. There is still a stigma about a grown woman living back home.

    This is probably the only bit of truth. And, yes, of course there is. It’s a sign you can’t cope with life. As a grown man I spent a month living at my mum’s, and believe me that wasn’t fun for either of us. When I went home she made sure she got the key back from me 🙂

    Moving in for long term or for good? Mother would disown me first.

  10. In any case, you ought to spice things up a bit by inventing a menage a sept with some polyamorists on your MBA.

    It’s about midnight here. There’s an image I needed just before bedtime. Thanks Sam 🙂

  11. She only has 6k of savings but her 77 year old Father lives in a 3 bedroom apartment in Chelsea (no doubt mortgage paid off) – I think she’ll be fine in a few years time, there’s probably a reason she never bothered to save.

  12. @Sam Vara
    “Tim, how can we be sure you’re not making up all that stuff about engineering and the oil industry and working in different countries?”

    I’ll take this opportunity to re-float my theory that “Tim Newman” is the alter-ego of a stay-at-home housewife with five children.

  13. Sailer’s Law of Female Journalism:
    The most heartfelt articles by female journalists tend to be demands that social values be overturned in order that, Come the Revolution, the journalist herself will be considered hotter-looking.

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